Friday, May 19, 2006
Office X-Men© Update

It's been a long time since I wrote anything about the Office X-Men© (I now realised that the Office X-Men should really be copyrighted and not trademarked since it's (great) intellectual property) so I figured that I'd just do a brief update on each and every single Office X-Men© here, old and new (you will also observe that I've reclaimed my rightful title as Cyclops)...

Office X-Men© still trapped in The Office©:


Rogue: The Boss just got promoted this month so she's seems to be hyper-on-the-bola right now. A few days ago, Jubilee even related to me an incident when Rogue described a piece of work by Banshee and Jubilee as "crap"...it's the first time I've heard her use such a word on our work, although her tone wasn't angry or anything like that. With greater pay comes greater responsibilities, I suppose. Oh dear, what cock am I talking here? Greater pay really means you get to push greater responsibilty to others...


Wolverine: Still and always the most enthusiastic worker around. The model company man, if ever there was one. One episode, which happened quite a while back illustrates this point to perfection. Jean Grey was handed a piece of work which should probably be done by some other department. Disgruntled, she went to complain to Wolverine about it. Wolverine, ever the supportive company man, told her that while he understands her frustrations , she should just, as Nike puts it, "Just do it". Duh?! Do we look like Nike to you, sir?!


Jubilee: Ever since my ex partner-in-crime-fighting-and-saving-the-universe got shifted to another another team, she has been busier than a bomb squad in Iraq with quite a big project in hand. Now being busy is a good thing, but not when you can't find meaning in what you are doing or you don't like what you are doing and Jubilee seems jaded to me. Well, even superheroes need a break.


Jean Grey: JG has just come back from a 1 1/2 day MC and she has been working the whole morning so far. Me? I don't know what I've been doing and have been blogging so far. See the contrast? Hard worker. Well, that is why JG has been promoted (as well) and congrats to her! With promotion and more money, I'd expect her to buy more CDs to listen to so that I do not have to listen to the same pieces of music she plays over and over again.


Shadowcat: Shadowcat never really changes. She still lets all the shite in this Office© pass through her like she passes through walls. Unflappable. Most times at least...she does get stressed too, you know, especially now that she's working in a mid-longish project with Banshee and Jubilee. But hey, it's water off a duck's back.


Banshee: Banshee will always be Banshee, loud, louder and loudest. I've grown more tolerant towards him though because well, I've gotten used to it and what the fcuk can I do about it anyway?! I can choose to ignore him but well, I'm already doing that most times anyway. He's disturbing the girls most, if not all of the time but hey, I'm still within earshot.


Nightcrawler: I've never being able to pin this character effectively on any one person until I met the REAL Nightcrawler. He is this ang mo lang from NY who is attached to our department for the next two years. The guy just seems to vanish and disappear without trace from the Office© anytime he fancies. It's almost as if he really can teleport himself here, there and everywhere at will. Even now, nobody has an inkling of an idea where he is...and yes, he is NOT in the Office© today.


Beast: The new MENSA guy. As smart as Beast and just as ugly too. Anyway, like I mentioned in the past, he'd finish a three-day piece of work in three hours (MENSA 就是 MENSA) but now, he seems not so on-the-bola anymore, not raising any weird issue he read off the Yellow Pages to Rogue. Good, because it means he's getting more astute in spotting issues, what's important and what's not. His work is getting better too...which can only mean one thing: He'd be outta here before long.


Magma: What more can I say about her? Her work is, for lack of a better word, still @#$%^&*. She still springs (unpleasant) surprises on other people by suddenly declaring herself ill in the mornings and giving other X-Men© panic attacks by having to scrmable to cover her duties. She still doesn't understand other people's instructions (or anything) and others don't really understand her as well. And now that she's recently gotten married, she's gone all lovelorn over her boy boy and misses him day and day (I don't know about night). Hey, actually I don't even know if she's around!


Angel: I used to be Angel (or Archangel) until I realised that no way can I be called an Angel nor call myself one, so I am handing over this title to one of our Assistant Officers, for three simple reasons. First, I like him. He's a nice, simple and honest guy. Secondly, he's a rich man's son, just like Angel. Finally, I think he'd fly the coop as soon as his studies are over. Good for him, there are better things waiting for him outside.


Scarlet Witch: Funny why I said ONE of our Assistant Officers because there are only two anyway, so this is the other. A vainpot and a braggart, do I really have anything nice to say about her? I don't know...but at least she does have a way with NS boys, altering the way they behave much the way SW changes the way matter behave. And oh, she's another of the about-to-get married battalion...for ages.


Cyclops: Back to using only my eye-power to do my "work" after my major project has been completed. Ok, actually I have another one coming up but hey, it's not due yet and there's still some time so until then, I'd hang loose. Or until the time I break loose from here...




Office X-Men© still trapped in The Office© (Other branches):



Storm, Gambit and Husk: I used to call Storm, Psylocke, until I couldn't find Psylocke's picture and found that Storm suited her more because Storm is also Indian...oops! Would the anti-racial profiling and discrimination net police shut me up for this? Gambit is well, his usual boring self. Anal, straight-laced and red-eyed pining for his true love, 杀破狼. As for Husk, she had gone for some interview at some other civil service department. I wonder how she's done since I forgot to ask her about it everytime I see her. Hope she gets it!

Office X-Men© no longer in The Office©:

Colossus and Professor X: Colossus I still see once in a while because when he comes for a meeting or training session, he'd drop by. And why wouldn't he? His lovely better half, Jubilee, is here. While for Prof X, he still calls me quite often. Usually to ask stupid questions like: How many zeroes are there in 一亿? For all you uninformed, it's 8 zeroes and 一亿≠One billion ok! Don't confuse Chinese numerals with English numerals.

My Outside X-Men© crime-fighting buddies:


Bishop and Iceman: Hunky Bishop has been happily attached for over a year now and will probably be posted to China for a short stint of a few months by the end of this month, where there might or probably will not be any live Tv broadcasts. Which means he will miss the World Cup. Being the good friend that I am, I have offered to rub salt into the wound by conveying all the excitement of the Cup via SMS to him. He has, of course, threatened to cancel his mobile subscription because of this. Worry not, brother. I will keep my SMSes short and sharp, keeping mainly to messages like "Hahaha" and "Loser". And there's always BBC Radio lah, don't get depressed yet. As for Iceman, I used to call him Beast until our real Beast came along in the Office©. He's still single and unattached and looking for a good girl so if any nice good is interested in a nice fluffy blue lohtee boy, please email me and I will set the two of you up. With kaya and gu you.