Wednesday, August 30, 2006
The Spidey Dilemma

A couple of nights ago, I went to meet up for dinner with Iceman and Bishop. The latter had come back from Dalian, China for a short break back in Singapore and will be going back to the mainland soon to complete his stint there. Anyway, it was a pleasant dinner, blah blah blah, I am not really particularly interested in talking about the dinner itself because there wasn't much to talk about there. But something we talked about there is a lead-in to this post.

Bishop was talking about his work experiences in China and so on and so forth, and Iceman was commenting that he'd like to venture to China eventually (honestly, as would I). Along the way, he also mentioned about how when he came back to Singapore, he found that a lot of things had happened (so and so having cancer, so and so having passed away), how his mum was admittedly maybe "suffering" because of his absence and then Bishop exclaimed that,"Well, life just moves really quickly. We should just follow our dreams and do what we want." I admittedly did a slight double-take on that statement...because I disagreed with it.

I make no secret of the fact that one day, I'd like to move abroad to work and experience life in a different time, place and culture. And I make no secret of my wish to quit the civil service and start anew with diminished pay and accordingly, lifestyle cutbacks. But it will not likely happen in the prime years of my life when the opportunity is the greatest and best. For I have my responsibilities here. I have my parents, who are aboslutely dependent on me to take care of them and who could press the wrong channel on the TV, receive a blank screen and wait for me the whole day just for me to return to "fix" the TV. Is it over-reliance? Possibly. Do I gripe? Yes. But it is something I will always do because I am needed to.

In Spider-man 2, Peter Parker battled constantly with his inner desires and responsilities. He knew people needed him to be what he was and to do what he did and because of the needs that others had put onto his shoulders, he has had to give up leading an everyday existence and also his love to bear these burdens. Eventually, he still gets his girl...but that's in the movies. And life isn't reel.

I am not saying that I am Spiderman, nor conspicuously, are any of us. But how many of us have had to give up what we want in order to do what others need us to. A self-sacrificing public persona like Spiderman is easy to love but I think, there's a heroism in the simple gesture of serving others in mundane daily slogging and relinquishing the choice of kicking back and simply following one's desires. It is a surrender that can be wearisome on the body, mind and soul, especially at a time and age when self-actualisation is the buzzword.

What am I saying? I am celebrating everybody (and that includes ALL of you) reading this blog, who has done that little something for anyone out of a conscious choice that he/she helped because he/she simply could. Little slices of heroism like these make life better and that much easier to tolerate...as much as a grand Spiderman rescue act would.

And for my part, I also proclaim a heartfelt thank you to each and every single person, who have given bestowed upon me your little piece of sunshine to make me smile, that helping hand to help me back up or just that shoulder to lean on, when I have been crippled and couldn't walk on my own.

God bless you.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006
President's Star Charity

The annual Mr Nathan press conference, erm sorry, I mean, President's Star Charity, is upon us again. I am sure Mediacorp has its usual insurance collecting stunts lined up to ensure that those NTUC Income premiums they have paid don't go to waste, but really I differ.

Why make Sharon Au walk on ladders made of samurai blades when we could use make her sing and people would just pay for her to stop? And for that matter, why make Tay Ping Hui drag cars using his tits when we'd pay him to just not appear on TV?

Nah, I really digressed. What I really meant was that stars shouldn't have to risk their lifes or limbs just to make some money for charity. There are a lot of other ways to get the money rolling in. But of course, I will not explicitly disclose the money-spinners for the PSC here since they involve ideas unlikely to be accepted by Singapore's PG-rated stations (For example, a segment involving Fiona Xie might be named "The Bah Bao Munch"), but if I was the show's organising creative executive, these are the stunts I would propose, which, I am sure, will bring in the targeted $4 million in less than a couple of hours.

Stunt #1: The Transporter

Stars: Pierre Png and Khoo Swee Chiow.

Setting: An operating threatre somewhere in Singapore with Pierre lying unconscious on the oprating table, zonked out either on Tiger beer or anaesthetics. SC will be in his adventure gear, ready to move out.

Stunt: What else? Pierre sells part of his liver to the highest bidder in Singapore and when the highest bid is lodged and sealed, Pierre's liver is removed on live TV and SC then tries all kinds of ridiculous ways to deliver the item to the bidder. Instead of taking the bus, he might say hang-glide his way there. Instead of using a lift, he'd scale the exterior of the building...sans oxygen, I might add.

Danger factor: Zero. Pierre has been there, done that. SC has spent his entire life not working but doing ridiculous things anyway, so what's one more? But the downside is there is no control over what the liver will be used for. Might be used for a life-saving liver transplant, might be used for making those tonic wines with dead reptiles in them or might just be freeze-dried and sold as bah kwa.

Money raised: $250,000. Remember it's only for the highest bidder so the average needy patient who needs a liver transplant desperately, too freaking bad. Also, keep in mind that SC might take a commission of 10% without anybody knowing it, so in reality: $225, 000.

Stunt #2: Nearly God

Stars: Mavis Hee

Setting: Major hotels in town with Mavis roaming around.

Stunt: Mavis goes around the major hotels in Singapore and screams at tourists, "Call me God or give me money".

Danger factor: Zero. But stunt is limited to the time until the whitecoats lug her away, kicking and still screaming I might add.

Money raised: $1000. There is always the faint possibility that tourists might call her God, instead of giving her money.

Stunt #3: The English Patients

Stars: Christopher Lee and Kym Ng

Setting: On board a Grasslands (草原快车) coach with Kym and Chris surrounded by Angmohs, English language or GP teachers or just monolingual purists anal about "proper" English.

Stunt: Chris and Kym will go on and on about why they should donate to PSC in their trademark indecipherable English until all the people in the coach pay to shut them up (hopefully...because they may, otherwise, they may reosrt to violence).

Danger factor: 5/10. I have watched the 草原快车 advert for a long, long time now and after several months, I have to confess I still have no idea (frustratingly) what Kym and Chris were talking about in the advert and that is after paying close attention. But TV is a different medium. I can just shut it off or change the channel if I want to. In an enclosed environment such as a coach, anything can happen.

Money raised: $50,000 or two corpses.

Stunt #4: Girl-Fight

Stars: Fiona Xie and Joanna Peh

Setting: In a six-sided ring where...ah, crap, that sounds like TNA Wrestling. Anyway, in a six-sided ring where Fiona and Joanne square off mano-a-mano for the Mediacorp Next 阿姐 Championship Belt. They can wear ANYTHING because it's coming off in the catfight anyway.

Stunt: What stunt? They fight. It's hands, feet, make-up, Gucci dresses, D-Cup bras and A-Cup handiplasts. It's melons vs oranges. It's chic vs cheap. It's Singapore's wealthiest undergrad vs Singapore's wealthiest slut. Singapore Pools will be roped in to provide odds for betting, the proceeds of which will go to Temasek Holdings. Nah, kidding, it's go to PSC.

Danger factor: 10/10. Either could come out disfigured, one could come out deflated, neither will come out disgraced because it's all for charity and one has to win the crown of 阿姐 anyway.

Money raised: $1 million, including bets placed. And a bruised ego.

Stunt #5: City Harvest

Stars: Ho Yeow Sun

Setting: Anyway with a big space with a big congregation looking adoringly at YS.

Stunt: YS hands out offering bags to the hordes of devotees for them to put in their tithes. Don't even need to sing.

Danger factor: Zero. Unless some devotees get so into the mood, they are spiritually slain.

Money raised: $10 million.

Oh...seems like there was never any need to even do five stunts anyway...

Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Normalcy Restored?

Having spent the better part of the last few weeks trying to get my verve back, I have to admit that things are finally starting to take on some semblance of normalcy. It's not that I am completely alright again because there is still a stretch to surmount before I can say that, but hey, at least I am finding that I can, somewhat, hold a conversation again. Yeah, when you hear that, you have to wonder how much I bottomed out...

Funny thing is, sometimes (including today, for instance), I can still walk without realization as to whether my consciousness is holding it all together. There are many a times when I have floated, rather than walked, around with my mind not entirely sure of its bearings nor its surroundings. Awesome (I would only classify it as awful if I got into an accident because of it) thing is...I am not even on any kind of medication and I achieved this pseudo-hallucinatory effect all on my own. The blood that courses through my veins must be a natural opiate. Drug abusers, I adjure: Forget Subutex, take my blood instead. Let the name of the Lion City be now known as Vampire City.

Oh yeah, oh yeah...I guess I am chirpier now, started over the weekend. Less grouchy and infinitely less angry (and there is a lot to be angry about). For some reason I have yet to fathom. Maybe, as I told Iceman, I just wore out my own depression, if that's possible.

Just the past Saturday, a date asked me out to accompany her to watch the Singapore Fireworks Festival that was taking place over Marina Bay. Having promised her more than a couple of weeks ago that we'd PLAY POOL, I was just slightly taken aback by the change of plans and more manifestly, the idea that I am watching fireworks with her. I really did not believe that to be a good idea. I'd really prefer to watch such things with my girl.

Now now now. I am not saying that my date was bad company. She's alright, although she could have spoken a little more. Even in my hermetic state of mind, I have had to play the conversationist. How freaking nice.

Blah blah blah. The dinner at the Esplanade worked charmingly. After that was over, we worked our way away from the Esplanade, which was teeming with hordes of bodies, some extremely alluring, others much less so. Important matter was that there was not much standing room left to be found to procure an unobstructed view of the proceedings, so I made the call to move to Fullerton to get a better view of the fireworks display.

We never really made our way there, of course. At the end, I felt that the Esplanade Bridge probably offers as good a view as any other vantage points around the area and I asked her if the bridge will do and she said ok.

And then, the fireworks went off. And it was beautiful. Much more so than I had envisaged. Or maybe I am just a sucker for beautiful things. No matter the number of times I have had seen them. During the time when the night skies were lit in an array of colours, you just had a feeling of being/falling in love. And you might, in good sense, turn around and put an arm around the special one (I do not mean Jose Mourinho in any way) and whisper in his/her ear, "The only thing more beautiful than that, dear, is you." So I turned around, looked at my date for a moment and...






turned back to admire the pyrotechnics again. @#$%^&*.

Lesson: Never watch fireworks with just any Tom, Dick and Harry nor Jane, Susan and Debbie.