Saturday, July 31, 2004
Beach Life

Howdy folks,back from the sun,sand,sea and seafood from Bintan and I am still suffering from the aftereffects of hours spent under the sun without any sunscreen.My shoulders are aching and the skin on my face is peeling slightly.Finally,I am living up to being born in the year of the snake.But the time spent at the island resort was fun and I had a good time there.I said good,not great.I just thought that if the trip had been with friends or a girlfriend.It might have been more enjoyable.While I am writing this,I am secretly hoping my mum,brother or sister-in-law never reads this blog.Mum might give me a good caning for saying that I don't quite enjoy her company.

I'm here to talk about beach life.Or what I'd dub a bum's life.I spent my 3 days there swimming(hence the sunburn),feasting(on overpriced food,mind you),sleeping and drinking(woh,my brother is an alcohol monster so I have to accompany him on his drinking binges).Actually,besides all these activities,there isn't much to do really.Things are also grotesquely expensive there.It was good that my mum had the good sense to buy some beer from the DFS at the Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal to avoid consuming those stocked in the chalet fridges.God knows how much those would cost.

Anyway,I was situated at the quieter Mayang Sari resort under the Nirwana Gardens group and most people staying down there were ang mohs and a few Singaporean couples.Most Singaporeans stayed at the other resort(I can't remember the name but it was cheaper so I guess that's why it was more popular)hence I didn't really get to see many...erm,I meant to say girls at the resort I stayed in.Good or bad.What do you think?!

Anyway,I also noticed another thing at my resort...an usually large number of Caucasian men and Asian girls coupling.I don't know if those girls are Singaporean but it got me wondering what's wrong with Asian men.That might make a good topic for another post.And the large number of couples there of course was the reason why it made thought it'd have been great to have been there with a girlfriend.Oh,and another thing.When I went over to the other resort to swim at their pool(there is NO pool at my resort...and it's more expensive!),I noticed an usually large number of Korean girls there...ok,at the pool.Looks like kimchi is invading Asia big-time.I have had the impression that the average Korean has gone for plastic surgery before since it is so prevalent down there but the funny thing is these girls,unlike my preconceived stereotype,have not gone under the knife.If they did,they should ask for a refund.There was still one rather lovely girl...but one out of a dozen.I am disappointed.Oh,another thing.Caucasians are really friendly.I'd smile at them and say "Hi" and always get a greeting in return.The Asians,they think I'm trying to rob them.Or that I'm weird.Which is not wrong.

Oh,let's talk about the beaches.Gee,where did they get the sand from.So fine,they feel like ground ashes...you know,something you get out of an urn.Hmmm,I just managed to sound morbid talking about the beaches.But they are really excellent in actual fact and you should really take a swim there...and get sunburnt like me.As for the resort,because I was staying at the more isolated resort,I thought it was rather rustic.A good thing if you want to get away from people,a bad thing if you want to look at people,like me.

I don't have many good things to talk about the food.Wait a minute,make that nothing good.It's very expensive...and may I add that it's not very tasty.For the princely sum one pays,you'd expect at least some standard.But it's not even close to Mum's Homecooked Food™ and I get that for free.

Hey,at the end of the day,I'd still concede that it's a good getaway location.Whether for the weekend or for a slightly longer period.Recommended?Yeah.Bring your own Maggi Mee.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Ghosts And Spirits

One really should not watch horror movies or variety shows with conetnt about ghosts and spirits before one sleeps.I did.And then I had a weird dream and a weird experience last night when I slept.I'd recount what happened...try to,at least,because I don't even remember the dream in detail.

I was watching Big Brother 2 (综艺大哥大) on SCV last night when they interviewed this "teacher",whom I think learn Taoist rites or something and knew all about facial features (面像) and spiritual occurances (灵异事件).Anyway,those guys then started to talk about what one shouldn't do when at the site of an accident (do not linger for long and pass comments on the dead).Apparently,the host knew a person who did and then for the next few weeks while she slept,she kept hearing a person calling her name.Until one day,the voice calling out to her whispered right into her ear.She opened her eyes and argggggggggh,it was the face of the deceased person looking down right at her.Now that is scary.

Anyway,after I went to slept,lo and behold,I had a dream about a female ghost (I never dream about male ghosts...weird).I dreamt that for work purposes,I had to move out of my house and into a rented apartment.It kind of looked like a rundown HDB flat.And I didn't have a flatmate.Well,on the first night,while I was loitering around the house (must have being late or I didn't have light bulbs because there were no lights on besides the light from the fridge,which I curiously left open).Anyway,while I was walking around,I spotted this figure standing near to the fridge.Her hair was combed forward and her posture was also ala Sadako.A bit hunched forward.GASP!You know what's weird though.The girl was wearing a tube-top and a mini and from a partial view of her face(her face wasn't completely obscured by her hair),she actually looked really nice.What kind of a ghost is this?Modern小倩?I think it just shows I am a 色鬼,even my ghosts are pretty.Jean Grey has had a great influence on me.

Ok,so it wasn't a nightmare (right from the start,I said it was weird,not frightening)but I was woken up and couldn't go back to sleep.My eye lips were also very heavy so I was too tired to open my eyes.But I got up and went to do a spot of surfing to lull myself back to sleep.It didn't take long.I went to bed soon.It was about 4:10 am.

After I went back to bed,the weird experience soon started after.I started smelling spicy curry in the room!I distinctly think I did.Because you know these spicy aromas,they can get so stinging,you start to sneeze and stuff.Which I did and also got my nose blocked.But I was sure I smelled curry spices in the room.No on ein the right mind cooks curry at 4 in the morning right.My parents were sleeping like pigs in the next room.Did I have a curry-cooking ghost in my room?I didn't open my eyes.What if I did and see some guy in white robes and no legs,holding a pot of curry by my bed side?What do I say? "hicken or mutton?".Or I tell him go cook some rice to eat with the curry?

Anyway,I believe in spirits and their existence.I mean all those ghost sightings,they can't be mistakes right.I have been lucky enough not to see them but I think they are all around us.It's not as if I haven't experienced spiritual attacks before,you know.The spirtual realm is not something to take lightly.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004
佳人曲

Oh my gosh,have any of you heard this PHENOMENAL song called 佳人曲. It's sung by 章子怡 and it is so absolutely brilliant,you'd never forget it.If you haven't heard it before,go and take a listen.It'd stay in your head,day and night.And of course if you've already heard the song,you'd know that I am nuts.

Here's the UNFORGETTABLE  lyrics:
北方有佳人 
绝世而独立
一顾倾人城 
再顾倾人国
宁不知倾城与倾国
佳人难再得

And the reason why I can't get it out of my head is because Jubilee wouldn't stop singing it.One more time.Encore.To catch this great song,head down to the cinemas to watch the period comedy "House Of Flying Daggers" (十面埋伏)

Monday, July 26, 2004
Last Place On Earth

Hurray!I'd be going for a break in Bintan this coming Thursday through to Saturday.It'd be a break from this dastardly workplace.Too bad I can't write any posts there.But I figure I did one whole week's worth of blogging on Saturday.So I should just chill from blogging and lie by a pool and get fat.Ok,back to writing about the office.Funny that no matter how many cheap oil paintings they hang on the walls,how many motivational posters they paste on the walls,how many first-grade coffee machines they put in the pantry,how many flat screen panels they put in the office,the office is the last place I want to go,even if it is the last place standing on earth.They say one should decorate the cubicle so that one feels just like home on the office.Then you'd feel cosy and feel right at home.Well,when I'm cosy and feel right at home,I go to sleep...zzzzzz...

So while I am listening to my Elva Hsiao Greatest Hits on my headphones(it's amazing,I don't recognise half the songs here),I wonder about how people could ever actually get it right in fitting out an office so that people wanted to come to work.You've seen those documentaries where they highlight some innovative firm promoting a casual work environment,right?Where people come to work in tees and jeans and they hang gliders from the ceiling.Maybe they could hang a glider on the ceiling here...just not above my cubicle.If it falls,it could kill someone,I don't want it to be me.

The fellows here,they try to do their best to make us feel better.They put a lot of oil paintings on the walls where some chunks of the paint seem to be falling off.They put numerous fake potted plants on the floor which offers a spot of greenery.I don't know about others but it doesn't really comfort me.The only spot of green in the office which does is the green overhead sign that reads "Exit".So then they gave us real plants.Cactuses we can adopt as pets.Problem:Some of our cactuses died on us.And they are supposed to be hardy plants.See,the conditions here are so inhospitable even cactuses cannot tahan.And you know how depressing it can get when pets die."Xiao Qiang,why did you wither?"...

In the end,I guess if we really love our jobs,we can stand anything,even this freezing hell we are in.They wouldn't need to do anything.It all comes from within.The love for the job.Which we don't have.A few plasma TV sets,X-Box sets full of games,DVD players and snack machines wouldn't hurt though.

Office X-Men: Quiet Day...For Now

It's a subdued day for The Office X-Men.Maybe it's because Jean Grey is on leave.I am seated next to her and usually she'd blare her CD pretty loud.It's pretty alright,only that she leaves the CD on repeat mode so I end up listening to the same 10 songs for the duration of the entire day.That's the thing about Jean Grey,she's so strong mentally,she erects this force-field around her that she doesn't seem aware she's been listening to the same songs the whole day.I already miss my daily diet of Cake's "I Will Survive"...

Oh and it's a quiet day so far(Am I tempting fate...commentator's curse,you know.).Rogue is not out of her office and sucking out people's life-force.She might go hungry later and bring Jubilee into her office for a life-force Happy Meal.These meetings usually last upwards of two hours no less,in her tiny cramped office.By the end of it,we'd become Senator Kelly(a mass of liquid).Banshee hasn't gone around on his Sonic Scream guard duty yet either.So there's no noise.

Of course the day is just 1 hour in.There is the small matter of an AGM that'd happen at 10:45 later in the morning.Where god gives his ten commandments:Thy shalt know thee is lucky to be here,thy shalt serve in the welfare commitee...etc.Can't wait.There's a free lunch.Oh,wrong focus huh...another thing,this morning,Colossus offered to hammer me in because he didn't want to be Colossus.Offered to show me his power of super-strength.I helpfully bluffed him that Colossus's power wasn't super-strength.If you are reading this,Colossus,it is.Don't listen to me next time.

If any interesting thing happens later in the day,I will update this post with comments.

Saturday, July 24, 2004
Kids Amok!

While I was having lunch at a foodcourt near my house,I started gazing around out of boredom to see what everyone else in the shopping centre was up to.Big kaypoh I know.Aren't we all?As the foodcourt was at the highest storey and I was seated right at the railing,I got a bird's eye view of everything.And then I started two kids running all over the place,playing catch I think.So I counted in 3 minutes,how many kids I'd spotted running all over the place.What I got?8.

Now I think this is a common occurance.Kids running all over the place in department stores and in the supermarket aisles.How and why they suddenly that NTUC is a great place to play catch,I don't know.Maybe the gigantic stack of toilet rolls make good cover.Or they could dive in a freezer and pretend to be frozen pork so that the catcher cannot find them.But most of the time,they cannot find a good hiding place and you see these kids,in squeals of delight(usually along the lines of Aah aah aah aah aah)running amok down the aisles.Dodging past bewildered adult shoppers who start giving disapproving frowns or worse,the death gaze.And the mums would go running after them, usually not catching up and screaming"Ah ah ah ah ah,boy boy,you don't run,you @#$%"(notice it's never the girls who play catch?).And by they catch up with them and smack them silly.And then you get a pitiful looking kid or a bawling one.Wow man.Si Buai Pai Seh.

Now,with the added danger of those rolling shoes(you've seen them,haven't them?Those kids gliding around on their shoes,instead of walking),there is even more danger of collision.Imagine this.You are walking across the axis of the aisles,carrying a tray of eggs,when out of the corner of the eye,rollerboy comes gliding towards you on his rolling shoes on the aisle you are now passing.What do you do?You got to be a ninja...or spiderman.You do an overhead somersault and avoid the screeching kid.That doesn't save the eggs.They are smashed all over the floor and you'd probably end up in the display pyramid of dog food they piled up nearby but you avoided the kid.

Whatever happened to good old-fashioned walking?Now kids are either running or gliding.We need good disciplinarians.I suggest we employ big,ugly,spectacularly tattooed guards to patrol the aisles.If parents can't control their kids,we'd control them for you.These guards will show no mercy,they spot a kid running or gliding in NTUC,they will lift the kid up with one hand and shake him silly.They'd shout"You move,you move somemore!See what I do to you."Also removes the possibility of these kids shoplifting. I think we all want our shopping to be done in a pleasant,if not safe environment.

Office X-Men - The Complete Line-Up

Finally,having gone through my little collection of X-Men characters,I have managed to fit everyone in my office into an X-Men caharcter.Helped by mydaemon of course who recommended herself as Jubilee.Very appropriate.So continuing the list are:

Jubilee: Jubilee's power is to generate energy globules which can be fired out in balls,stramers and other shapes.These sparkle to dazzle and blind enemies.Mydaemon is infectiously sparky by nature and this suits Jubilee's power perfectly.She also blinds us with her dazzling business ideas.

Jean Grey: The connection here is a bit tenuous.Nanie is prone to strange thoughts.For the insiders,note the lecturer with hairy chest discussion during lunch and what direction nanie led the discussion to.How did she do that?!Jean grey does strange things with her mind as well,moving all kinds of stuff and knocking people around silly.In essence,they both conjure up strange things in their minds.

Storm: It was nanie.Now it's J.Storm generates storms.When J gets pissed,she also has these storm clouds around her which gets scary.I am just waiting for her eyeballs to turn white.

Mystique: C is Mystique.Now,why would I include a Brotherhood of Mutants character in the midst of X-men.Simple.It makes her an outcast.Mystique has this amazing to morph into different people when she is around different folks and present different sides of herself.This shape-shifter changes her faces so many times,it's hard to tell when she is telling the truth and when not.Oh and Mystique rarely talks in the movies,just like she rarely talks in meetings.

Shadowcat: B is Shadowcat.Shadow who?Remember the first movie when Wolverine first went into the classroom to meet Prof X for the first time?There was a girl who went back to take her book then ran right through the door.That's Shadowcat.In the second movie,when the SWAT police raided the mansion and burst into this girl's bedroom,she fell and passed right through the bed and ended up on the floor below.That is Shadowcat again. Her power is that she is able to pass through solid matters. I don't mind to mean to say B is permeable.This is really filling up characters here so she has to make do.

Hey,so that's it!The complete cast:Rogue,Banshee,Mystique,Shadowcat,Wolverine,Colossus, Storm,Jubilee,Jean Grey and Cyclops.Watch out for the first installment of the Office X-Men Politics series when we slap each other silly.I got to go hone my Optic Blasts now.

Wonderful Miss J

Allow me to wax lyrical about someone for a change.There will be no puns in this post.I'd just like to praise someone whom I think a lot more people should know about.That this young lady happens to be my cousin is besides the point.Even if she wasn't,I'd still put her on a pedestal.And maybe if she was older,I'd probably woo her with every last bit of energy I have.But she's my cousin and she's very young,so too bad.

Miss J is a cousin of mine who lives in the States.She's all of 16 years old.I didn't really talk much to her for a long time until the end of last year when I started spotting her on MSN and started talking to her.She left me a good impression then.Well,I went over to the US with my mum and a couple of relatives in March and met her in person.I was able to hit it off with her quite easily(and I don't hit off with people easily,especially girls...on my fingers...I count about 3 and she's one of them)and were able to talk about a lot of stuff.I'm 27,she's 16 and we talk well?Well,either I am immature or she's mature for her age.It's the latter.Which is one thing why I think highly of her.She doesn't have a boyfriend(how many teenagers don't have a bf/gf now?)because she feels she is too young to have one and wants to concentrate on her studies.Said that it didn't bother her that she's not popular because she's not draped on the arms of a boyfriend.Besides this,she really does have a bubbly personality, laughs easily.I think a lot of people will find her great company.

Besides this,let me mention that she is a straight A student as well and regularly tops her school in various subjects(the past semester it was Spanish and Math I think).She does the chores at home(cook,clean,fold clothes,etc) and besides managing her own homework,has to discipline her younger brother(younger by 5 years)to ensure he does his homework as well.She draws manga for leisure and yes,she does draw a mean picture.She's pretty good at it really.She does social work for her ECA and regualrly spends her time helping out at homes for the mentally challenged and also helps at some children's functions.Oh,since she's so good,it must be compensating for something...a lack of looks perhaps?Sorry,she's not bad-looking,rather pretty actually.Too good to be true huh?

Well,I somewhat think for someone so young,she's not having it easy.Her mother (my aunt) is a strict disciplinarian and I guess that's why J has such a good upbringing.But her mum is no longer here now.She passed away on June 11 because of cancer(the reason why we flew in March was to see her and take care of her for a short period.I find it hard to accept someone who looked so healthy when I was there is now no longer with us.Life is so unpredictable.I will never forget her.).Even before that,she's had to take over the household chores to lighten her mum's load.But at least the disciplining of her brother was still largely done by her mum.Now that she's gone.J has to take care of everything.And also look after her own work and help out with her dad who runs a store.For a 16 year-old,that's remarkable.What's better is that she understands she has to do all these and does not complain much about it.(She does have 2 elder siblings but they are away working in other States and are not home most of the time)

I find it surprising  that when I look around to find a great model of how a teenager should be,I will find it in America,not here.I am sure that are very good teenagers around here as well but someone with the same level of maturity and does as much?I'd be hard-pressed,I think.She does have dreams in life.She wants to move out of the house because the State she is living in is one of the poorest in the US and have one of the highest crime rates and she knows she cannot stay there.But she also knows that she cannot leave until her younger is old and mature enough to take care of himself and that is a long time to come.And she will not leave her dad behind either.She wants to move to a place where she can take care of him too.I mean...come on,find someone else who thinks like that at 16.

You can all tell that I am exceptionally fond of this little cousin of mine.In fact,I have often told her she should come to Singapore and work here.And with all her relatives around(my aunt married my uncle,a US citizen and moved there 20 years ago so the rest of the family are all here),she'd be on familiar ground and would fit in easily.She seems to like the idea as well,but hey,she wants to be close to her dad,remember.But she also fundamentally a small-town girl who's very simple and nice.I don't know how transplanting her to a big city would do.I turst she'd remain true to herself though and I'd love her to come here.I think a lot of guys here won't mind her coming and knowing her as well.She's probably make a great girlfriend.Hold on tigers!She's just 16.Bid your time.

Sigh,it'd be years before I see her face-to-face again.Maybe even longer.In the meantime,I wish her well and that she'd stay the same.Wonderful Miss J.

We Will Not Negotiate

Looks like The Philippines just got everyone else in the coalition forces in Iraq into a load of crap!Following their withdrawal from Iraq to secure the release of Angelo de la Cruz,the terrorists have decided it is a good idea to start kidnapping everyone else and demanding other countries withdraw from Iraq.Nice nice.Stuff the terrorists,ever since they decided to start their cottage snuff video industry,they've been killing these innocent people who did nothing wrong but go about their normal lifes.Now,just imagine,you are minding your own business,say selling watermelons on the streets or something.And then someone kidnaps you off the street,puts you on a video and kills you.For what?What did you do?Quench the thirst of infidels?

Now our government,they are decisive,they state right from the start that they will not negotiate.Be it Aneglo de la Cruz or Andrea de Cruz.You should not go there in the first place.If you get caught,you are left to your own devices.Now I don't disagree with that,I think it's good.Look at the Philippines and the ripples their action has had on others.Give an inch,take a yard.But what I want to put forward here is a thought...

Say,what if,the person kidnapped is an only son of a prominent leader(hint hint:Leader...how do you pronounce it,especially the first syllable).Would we not negotiate?Are you sure?Can we let a white horse die?Would we do under the table compromises?

Office X-Men

This post is merely to introduce the cast of characters in my office so that next time when I write about the office politics here,I can use fictional characters to represent the real people here.Why did I use X-Men?Firstly,because I am a fan.Secondly,because this is my blog and I can say whatever I want,use whatever characters I fancy.Thirdly,there is no thirdly.

Ok,for the benefit of my other colleagues who blog,I will list my colleagues in order from where I sit: They are morrissey (Cyclops),nanie (Storm),daemon (no character in mind yet),j (none either),ted (Colossus),r (Wolverine),b (no character yet),c (no character),s (Rogue) and g (Banshee).Now I will give an explanation why I call them such.You don't need to know about the X-Men to see what I meant.I'd explain,being the kind-hearted,altruistic miser that I am.

Cyclops: That's me.So named because I am heroic,righteous and have great eyes.Ok,maybe not entirely correct.I am Cyclops because when it comes to work,I am all eye-power.I look at other people do things,that's all...strangely,that gets things done.Never underestimate eye-power.And like Cyclops' Optic Blasts,I have perfected the death gaze and eye rolling.

Storm: I don't know.I am just filling up characters here.

Colossus: Teddy is big.Colossus is big.They are both big.Hence Teddy is Colossus.

Wolverine: With his adamantium claws, Wolverine can shred the rest of us to bits with his prodigious work-rate.And with adamantium fused into his skeleton,he is virtually indestructable in any corporate restructuring.His ability to heal himself automatically also means he can survive all sorts of poison darts and arrows others shoot at him.But he's also a loner.Someone so mysterious,little is known about his present,let alone his past.
 
Rogue: Rogue is actually our department head,leader of the Office X-Men.Ok,that was supposed to be Cyclops in the comics but this is MY blog.Rogue is so-named because when she is around,she sucks the life-force out of everyone else in the office.So everyone becomes listless and wants to go home.Wait,that occurs whether or not she is around.Anyway,like Rogue in the movies,she doesn't know what she wants and what she is doing.Typical boss.

Banshee: Banshee is not a commonly known X-Men.His power is his Sonic Scream.It is so loud that it shocks enemies into paralysis or just hits them like a tidal wave.In other words,he has a big mouth.He talks and gossips a lot.We all know someone like him around the office.He's also known as Boozeman around here.

I will go on to populate the rest of the Office X-Men characters before going on to describe the "adventures" we have down here.Till next time...stay tuned.

Disturbing Behaviour

All of us have travelled using the MRT before.Ok,that excludes you,Zoe Tay.And you,silver spoonists,who live at Bukit Timah District 10 with 6 Mercedes Benzs and 2 Porsches in your garage.But for the rest of us,heartlanders(I proudly proclaim myself as one,with no cars and an ezilink card),we have all,one time or another,encountered disgusting behvaior on the trains.People who are inconsiderate and persist on doing stuff which irritates the hell out of me.Yeah,just me.Anyway,I encountered another one this morning on the train and felt compelled to exact vengence on the rest of you.I'm innocent,you proclaim!Are you sure or not?I will,in the next few paras,start listing the whole series of species which inhibit this world-class travel commodity of ours.

Koala Bears: These are the people who stand near the handle posts near the doors but instead of just holding onto it with one hand to keep a balance,they have an inclination to hug the posts.Such that the rest of the people standing nearby cannot hold onto the posts for balance because our dear bear bears have clung onto the posts so tightly,it's like a python squeezing the life out of its prey.They really look like koalas.Anyway,so the rest of us are left to the mercy of the psychotic MRT drivers.You know how these drivers are.They're pranksters.Out of the blue,they perform their sudden brake party tricks and their unexplained sudden speed change manoeuvres.For goodness sake,bear bears,just using ONE hand will do.

Current Affairs Sifus: I so name them because there are certain people who INSIST on reading their newspapers on the trains even when it is rush hour traffic,particularly in the morning.They'd open up their tabloids or worse,broadsheets and start scrutinizing all the real important headlines.Therefore they must know a lot about current affairs and are sifus.Now I'm not denying them the right to read papers.I don't mind people who fold their papers up before reading it so it occupies less space.I am talking about rush hour traffic here.People are squeezed up neck to neck,body to body.There's no space to even move your feet.And these guys insist on reading papers.That's a body space there or at least an arm space there.Where it at least offers some personal space for people.You know how uncomfortable it can get getting all squeezed with people.I don't mind it particularly,especially when I am squeezed up next to a beautiful lass but I cannot speak for everyone.I am sure everyone wants a bit of space where possible.

Executive Conference Holders: This is particularly true of students.This whole big group of them,5 to 10,would board the train together and start forming a circle so that everyone in the group can participate in a good quality,wholesome discussion about girls or other people's shortcomings.The things is,these groups tend to congregate at the handle posts near the doors or at the doors.People who want to alight or board?Too bad,get past us.Worse still.Some of them insist on SITTING down on the floors in a group near the doors...ok,the ones on the opposite side which rarely opens.For people using the Braddell and City Hall stations.Well,too bad for them.Like the SIA long haul flight concept to the US,maybe we could set up a congregation area for these kids...on the tracks.

Blind Sitters: People who sit on seats where there is sign above them telling them that they might want to give up their seats for preganant ladies or the elderly,who then has a pregnant lady or elderly folk standing next to them,but has his butt superglued on the seat.So they pretend to be blind and do not see.I want to state a qualifier:It's true that some pregnant ladies appear to be rude and think it's their god-given right to a seat and doesn't even thank a person when he/she gives up a seat for said pregnant lady.Ditto some elderly folks.Fair enough that some people may feel not appreciated and think they should not give up their seats.Duh?You think NKF ah?Donate some money,get discount vouchers and maybe win a car.You do do out of civil consciousness,not because you expect a word of thanks.Getting a word of thanks is but a bonus,should not be a given.Or maybe some say they are just too tired.Duh?Are they Banglas?They work outside repairing roads and building houses,is it?Most of us are office workers here.Most pregnant ladies are no less.They should be just as tired,if not even more carrying more load.And old people?Need I say more?

Ok,I may have left out other irritating groups but that's all I have for the moment.So much ranting that I haven't even finished my breakfast.Could get indigestion.And yes,I didn't even mention Xiaxue in this post...

Friday, July 23, 2004
JOKERS

Has celebrity status reached me before I even knew it?I was given a tidy surprise when I found,to my surprise,all comments on my previous 少男杀手 post has been erased.As has another comment on another of my post!Wow,I am on the receiving end of some hacking activity.I must be famous to have people hate me.I will have my face on Straits Times soon.The Struggling Officeboy on TV.I think I am thinking too much.

Hey,come on,don't mess around with my blog.It's the only outlet for my psychotic outbursts.Without this,I'd be rehabilitated back to my old home at 10,Buangkok View (AKA Woodbridge).Have mercy on my fragile soul as I go about rebuilding my life after you destroyed my blog.If you really wanted to hack,go hack Xiaxue's website.Notice I write about her in every post nowadays?Time to take my pills.

Now,let me hazard a guess on who hacked my post.My guess is the JOlin Koalition forcERS (JOKERS) for my inncuous comments on her looking like a porn star.Hey,you know I love and care about her.Do you think I'd point out the truth that she looks like a porn star if I didn't care?When all around her,her agents and friends are deluding her that she looks good and innocent?By the way,some of you might have pointed out that coalition starts with a c,not a k.NOT in Malaysia,you don't.In Malaysia,everything starts with a K...Kommunication,Komplex,Kaya.But forces is spelt without the R.Well,you're in Malaysia,genius.They spelt everything wrongly.And how do I know they're based in Malaysia?Well,JOKERS,my friends,they only come from Malaysia.

Ok,JOKERS,now,leave some nice cute comments on my site and leave me alone.And oh,I love Malaysians...don't be mistaken.I just take the piss.It's natural after all.In Singapore,we drink our own piss(NEWater,NEWater)so we're always giving it to others as well.Tsk tsk tsk.

少男杀手

Ahhh,I typed Chinese words in my blog.My first ever Chinese words.I am as proud as a dodo.Which means I'm dead proud.So frivolous.Anyway,I'm taking out time from my packed work schedule to do commentry on beautiful Mandarin pop stars.And when I'm done with this,I'd pack my bags and go home.Folks,learn.This is called work-life balance.Some of you guys might say I am a slacker,that I don't do much work,that I have got all my priorities wrong.Work comes first.Hey,I DID say that I took time out from my busy work schedule but the real point,you'd all be right.

Anyway,back to my frivolous topic:Am I a Chi Koh Pek to write about girls?Maybe but hey,which of you don't look at pretty girls?It's not like I'm writing this for monks to read.if so,I'd write about vegetarian diets instead.By the way,do monks write blogs?

Ok,back to my topic.I'd start with Jolin Tsai.Everyone's favourite pirate.Jolin.Now what can I say about her.She's the number one 少男杀手 around in the Mandarin pop scene.And I believe there is a simple reason why Chinese guys are so obssessed with her.Why?It is because she looks like a Japanese PORN STAR.Come on,look at her hair,those dyed-copper luscious locks,those big eyes and those pouty lips.Tell me she doesn't look like a Japanese Adult Actress.Unfortunately,a lot of girls nowadays are trying to copy her look.For example,there is a girl in my office who is copying that look exactly.How do you tell someone she looks like a porn star?

Next,one of my favourites.Elva Hsiao.She's not really that pretty actually but she simply captivates me.It must be those small,beady eyes of hers.100MW electric blasters.Besides those peepers,she does look ordinary,except for a pretty nose.One of my friends who saw her live actually said she looks like Ah Lian,thick make-up.She does???Well,maybe she does...and if so,that only shows I love Ah Lians.Friends and family,find me an Ah Lian to marry.

Evonne Hsu.Phew.Elegant like a swan.Come to think of it,she looks like a swan...without the beak.I like her actually,she's really fair and I love that.But there's something about her face which unsettles me.There's just something unproportionate,not right,something weird somewhere.I can't put a finger on it.Ok,maybe it's because she looks like a swan.Imagine..a 1.7+metres bird walking towards you.

Vivian Hsu.Xiaxue's favourite star.One of mine too.Xiaxue likes her because she thinks Vivian is one of the most beautiful girls in the Chinese entertainment scene.Luscious locks,big eyes.Woh.I like her because UNLIKE Jolin Tsai,who's a pseudo-porn star,Vivian is the real thing.She WAS a porn star.I love people who are real.

Stefanie Sun...erm,I am only supposed to review beautiful pop stars huh?Sorry sorry...next.

Cyndi Wong.Hmmm.She's following Jolin's route,copying her every move.She's got big pretty doe eyes,looks bleached white and wears a school girl uniform.She looks like Sailormoon.She's a cartoon.

I won't review Fish Leong or Penny Tai.Because they are Malaysians.Nah just kidding.I haven't a thing to say about them.But if you're Jackie Chan's kid and want me to write a review on Penny.Send me a comment and I'd do it for you.Can you get me a movie deal though?

Ok...for all foreigners reading this post.There are LOADS of beautiful pop stars in the Mandarin pop scene.It's just that I can't think of any right now.Don't be mistaken.Chinese girls are beautiful!And they don't all look like Lucy Liu.

Thursday, July 22, 2004
What Have I Become?

Little malevolent me.This early morning when I got the news that my boss was on 2 days medical leave,my heart leapt with,erm,the burden of wondering what illness struck her or if she is feeling the effects of something else.Leapt as in skipped a beat...you know,nothing to do with happiness or any feelings of that sort.Just skipped a beat.Knowing my unhealthy lifestyle,it's probably more to do with some heart problem or something.Did I even mention happiness?No no NO!I wish her well.That she'd recover and get well.

Dear oh dear,what have I become?These evil thoughts.My days are hinging on the non-appearance of certain individuals...and the disappearance of god(god is but a storey above me...see I am close to god).Do I derive no joy from anything else?What about work?Shouldn't I be bursting in enthusiasm and striving to provide valuable insights for,erm,everybody in Singapore who read my works?Yeah,I guess so.If you believe in and love your job enough.

The trouble is:I probably don't.I have come to realise that I may feel more satisfaction in successfully organising an event or formulating and implementing some kind of bsuiness plan or programme.This job has nothing to do with those or not much of that.Analysis is something I could do,but probably not what I WOULD do.I WOULD also do nonsense like Xiaxue musings though.I could team up with her.Xiaxue and Xialiu.

No use griping.Go get another job.Loser.Whiner.SHUT UP!Another miserable side of me I have developed(oh come on,I listen to Morrissey,how positive can I get?).Well,I got a family to support.Bills to pay and mouths to feed.At least I got a pay-rise...and I am skiving.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Five Minutes of Notoriety

Watched the "Singapore Idol" snippets on TV? Noticed all those people hamming it up for the camera and talking about their soft toys and all.Now if you can, refer back to Saturday's edition of Today.A couple of the judges recalled having loads of "talentless" people turning up for the auditions and a number of people declaring that they want to be the next "William Hung".Now,let's look at one of the hottest blogs in Singapore. Miss Xiaxue.Funny and smart she might be but she's so crude,I wonder what her mum thinks of the language she uses on the blog(I don't believe for a second she's like this in real life).Is it something to be proud of,something you'd teach your daughter?What's up with these people?It seems like the allure of celebrity on this tiny island (and beyond)has given birth to a whole generation of media whores.People who would do anything to get noticed.People who believe stardom and fame should be the ultimate goal in life.It makes me wonder what the values of these people are...if they have any.
 
I don't know.Who's to blame for this?The media?With the avalanche of celebrity mongering by the media,actors,singers and the what-have-yous in the entertainment industry have sometimes being elevated to demi-god like status.Lifestyles of the rich and famous,they say.The celebrity halo can be blinding.
 
And what about reality shows?Brings ordinary people right to the forefront of television and gives everybody the hope that,yes,they can be celebrities too...without being really good at anything.I am not against a show like the "Idol" series because they DO bring forth some undiscovered talents in the heartlands that may otherwise go unnoticed.But the "Willaim Hung" episode has brought about a whole group of people who aim to follow in his footsteps.Now,I can understand that there are probably some people out there who CANNOT hold a tune but DOESN'T know it.But now, people who DO know are also going for the auditions.Going there to get humiliated?I think not!Going there to get pointers on how to improve?Maybe,but way too painful.Going there for the experience?Possibly.Going there to appear on TV?... And what's the point of a reality series like "Survivor"?See the worse of people and promote gaunt fashion?People from these shows have become stars because of their mean-spiritedness (it's bad enough in the first place that some of them became millionaires because of it.)
 
And what about Xiaxue and her blog?I have to admit I found it mildy entertaining then my interest fell flat after 5 minutes.It's good that her target audience (probably chi koh peks because she is reasonably pretty or people who just want to read crude stuff) is not me.I don't really know what to make of her,seriously.After all,she's just a miserable intern.Maybe she could become a full-pledged journalist with her new-found fame...doing horse-racing articles in WanBao or Xin Ming.
 
I guess I saw what I suppose is the psyche of the young when I watched a talent show on Channel U over the weekend.A 14-year-old girl came on this show hosted by quan Yifeng and Kym Ng and said that she wanted to be an actress.Dressed more like a 24-year-old lass,she then talked about gaining valuable lessons by working in the entertainment industry and enriching her life.She was swiftly rebuffed by two of the jedges:Bryan Wong and veteran HongKong actor Chen Guan Tai(I can't remember what the third judge said).14 year-old.Shouldn't she be in school concentrating fully on her studies?
 
Now now,to each his own.Live and let live.I will shut up now and comment no more.To all those people seeking fame (more like notoriety) by exposing their shortcomings and ugly sides in the public arena,good luck!I hope your five minutes on TV,your blogs or whatever you are on leads you onto mainstream fame and bigger things in life.But if you fail to make anything out of your efforts,try doing something useful with your life.Go be a doctor or nurse and save some lifes.Go be a policeman and catch some crooks.Go be a volunteer and help mentally challenged kids lead their lifes.Or go be a cab-driver and fetch me back from work.

Monday, July 19, 2004
Arthur-ly Forgettable

Let's set the premise straight from the start:King Arthur is NOT a bad flick by any means(same sentiments as Ebert),it's just not memorable.I kind of forgot about it the moment I left the theatre but that's not to say I didn't have a good time while I was watching it.I would certainly recommend it as a good popcorn summer flick for folks to enjoy.Now,onto the film itself...
 
The story has been reviewed often enough,a demystified version of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table.Arthur,of Roman and English descent,is sent to England for a 15-year tour of duty to lead a bunch of warriors from Sarmatia.They spend their time fighting off the Woahs,a bunch of English native guerilla fighters led by Merlin (what does he do actually?I never see him casting magic or doing anything substantial.He just looks like Tom Hanks from Castaway with a better looking beard) residing in North Britain,separated from the South (which the Romans occupy)by a great wall.A Roman bishop is dispatched to Britain to release the knights, but not before they complete one final mission: rescue a Roman family who have settled North before a marauding horde of Saxons can reach them.Along the way,they'd free the English natives of servitude under the Roman family and save the fetching Guinevere from a prison.As the Romans retreat,Arthur finds his beliefs about the Roman empire eroding before he teams up with the Woahs to fight off the Saxons.Well,as a spoiler,the Saxons got beaten fairly easily by Arthur and the Woahs.Bunch of sissies.
 
Onto the actors,I thought Clive Owen actually made a pretty good lead.If only he was given a more solid role.Keira Knightley,as Guinevere,is lovely and fiesty.The other knights,well,are not really memorable (except for Lancelot, played by Ioan Gruffudd,who was given more screentime and a more significant role and Bor,played by Ray Winstone,a boorish but entertaining knight)but the camaraderie between them and Arthur is good to watch.As for the Saxons,well,the key villain Cerdic(Stellan Skarsgard)is rather pedestrian and far too easily defeated by Arthur at the end. The fight was over before I even knew it and it made me wonder why he is supposed to be feared.His son,Cynric(Til Schweiger),isn't much better.Like father,like son.

The fight scenes are,well,standard issue battle scenes that we see every so often in many epic Hollywood movies(see Gladiator and Troy).Full of clashing bodies,swords and what-have-yous and jerky jump-cuts that ensure you never actually see anything clearly besides an occasional swing of the arms by the leads or an odd grimace here and there.I assure you there's lots of stabbings and skewings though...just that I have no idea who got stabbed or skewed.Having said that,there is a neatly executed battle scene on a frozen lake that is pretty good.Eight versus two hundred.Very nifty.
 
Ok,overall,maybe 3 out of 5 for this movie.Go for a weekday show.It should be worth it. 

Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Post for Foodies

Ever tasted something quite fantastic but found that nobody else much(besides those privileged few,that is)knows about it?I think I'd like to start a post for foodies here so those we can share our knowledge with others...where to find some of the best,yet least publicised food stalls/places in Singapore.So if you've got a recommendation or your friends know someplace,maybe you could get them to share it here.

Ok,I'd just start teh post here by recommending a,by my reckoning,quite fantastic Fried Hokkien Prawn Mee stall in Kovan.It's exact location is at second level of the Kovan Hawker Centre/Market near to the old/disused bus terminal there.Coming up from the Kovan MRT station as you walk towards the hawker centre,you'd find that you need to walk up a short flight of stairs to reach the second level,it's just the second stall straight after the stairs so it's quite near really.I think this stall is pretty well-known to people living in the Hougang,Kovan and Lor Ah Soo area but outside of that,few people actually know about it.For some reason,it never got featured on any of those food shows you see on TV.Maybe the reason is that it only opens at night to cater to the dinner crowd...and it doesn't even open every night.But whenever it is,you'd see a long queue forming.I guess that's a sign the food can't be that bad.

Anyway,talking about the mee itself...yummy!The stall-owner uses thick Bee Hoon (the sort you would find in Fish-Head Bee Hoon)instead of the usual thin Bee Hoon together with the common yellow noodles.That's part of the secret I think to the dish being very good.The thick Bee Hoon has a smooth texture that complements nicely with the smooth yellow noodles.The thin variety usually has a rougher texture that doesn't go as well.

The real secret though is the broth the stall-owner uses to cook the noodles.If I'm not wrong,it's made with chicken stock.Now I don't know if all stalls do that but it adds a lot of body to the taste of the food.Most Hokkien Mee is also cooked into a rather dry state.The stall here serves it wet,with a little bit of broth.And I think it's this wetness which makes it really good and easy on the palate.

What I'd usually do is then squeeze the lime juice all over the noodles and also spread the chilli all over as well.Now the chilli itself,that's another winner.The chilli that comes with most Hokkien Mee dishes is pretty dry.The chilli here,it's more like the chilli used for Nasi Lemak(only in texture and wetness,not taste).And it all adds up,the chilli complements the noodles really well and adds much flavour to it.

Ok ok,that's enough of descriptions,I recommend any of you guys to go taste it if you ever happen to be around that area.Of course,my taste buds could differ greatly from yours but it's no harm trying,right?

Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Good Enocomy...What Good Economy???

Read the news yesterday about the Brit government cutting some 104,000 civil service jobs and spending the money on other things like education,defence...and foreign aid(No wonder the Iraqis don't kidnap Brits).Wow,that's a lot of people we are talking about here.What's even stranger is that it came against a backdrop of the strongest domestic sales and exports since Labour came to power.Wow.Will the Singapore government ever point at the Brits one day and say that,hey,we need to trim the fat in our own organisations too?Imagine if that was to take place here,who'd go???Bye bye AD,loved your cheesecakes.

Well,today's Today then reported that better wages are not expected,that wages reform will continue.Well,a spectacular 11.4% year-to-year increase this quarter(ok,measured against a low base last year), a growth rate what could stand at some 9.1% for the first half of this year and folks are still not likely to get better wages.Actually,come to think of it,my friends have only got 1 raise since they started working three years ago...compared to me:I've gotten a raise every single year so far...

So people are getting overworked outside and not getting paid any better.Brits are retrenching their civil servants.All these in spite of a good economy?What good economy?

Broken Heart

Lyrics from a song I love a lot.


Though I have a broken heart
I’m too busy to be heartbroken
There’s a lot of things that need to be done
Lord I have a broken heart

Though I have a broken dream
I’m too busy to be dreaming of you
There’s a lot of things that I gotta do
Lord I have a broken dream

And I’m wasted all the time
I’ve gotta drink you right off of my mind
I’ve been told that this will heal given time
Lord I have a broken heart

And I’m crying all the time
I have to keep it covered up with a smile
And I’ll keep on moving on for a while
Lord I have a broken heart

-Spiritualized (Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space)

Who is Morrissey?

Just in case,any person is curious about why I used the username "morrissey"(at least one person did ask),well Morrissey is in fact a singer/songwriter...and a pretty good one at that.

Stephen Patrick Morrissey IS one of the most influential figures in alternative rock.His legendarily sensitive, melancholy persona has made him a highly polarizing icon, reviled in some quarters with nearly the same intensity he inspires in his passionately devoted fans. As the lead singer of the Smiths, arguably the most important indie band in Britain during the '80s, and as a solo artist, Morrissey's theatrical crooning and literate, poetic lyrics connected powerfully with a legion of similarly sensitive, disaffected youth. Yet as much as his fan base revered him, Morrissey was also criticized for his self-absorption and determinedly miserable outlook (others simply couldn't stand his effeminacy).

For a sample of his latest album,simply search for Morrissey at the Rolling Stone website for short snippets.

Saturday, July 10, 2004
The Realities of being a Spurs Fan

For any person who had ever gone to the Teamtalk Spurs webpage and surfed the Your Say segment,he or she would have noticed the incessant amount of moaning that goes on there.Some of it has been justified,most of it has just been whining and others has been plain ridiculous.Anyway,in recent weeks,I have noticed a wave of "Santini Out" sentiments growing among the population there.Santini Out.Think about that.His record as Spurs coach currently stands at Played 0,Won 0,Drawn 0,Lost 0.And a bunch of wankers are already calling for his head.

Let's face facts.The last time Spurs won the league was in 1961,the great Bill Nicholson double-winning side.The last time Spurs finished anyway near the current Champion's League spot(1st to 4th)was, as far as I remember,1987.The year when Chris Waddle was still around before he was sold and replaced by Gary Lineker.The past few seasons,Spurs have had trouble just finishing somewhere NEAR the top six.And the team has seen their captain,a certain Mr Campbell,leave the team on a Bosman to join their bitterest rivals in order to win a Championship medal(which he did!).Great side?Hardly. I would even have trouble describing the team as decent even though they do have good players like Keane,Defoe,King,Davies,Gardner and now Robinson.

The real trouble with Spurs though,in my opinion,has been the fans.They have always been quick to jump on the backs of players and management whenever things have gotten a bit rough.From George Graham...wait,make that Gerry Francis to Glenn Hoddle,none of them has ever been able to win the undying support of fans.Anytime when the team goes on a losing sequence,the fans immediately throw out the "XXX Out" banner.Rarely have they stood behind a particular manager.And I rather suspect they won't be eager to stand behind Santini either.Seriuosly,how many Spurs managers have lasted beyond 2 seasons?And how long has Ferguson and Wenger or even Allardyce(let's face it,Bolton is a better team at the moment)managed their sides?Continuity breeds success.And Spurs have never allowed that to happen.They crave instant success.Any manager who comes in has to steer the side immediately into the top six or win a cup.Huh???Reality check.Spurs don't have a Russian sugardaddy pumping hundreds of millions into the club.They may be a top-earning club-side but they don't,no longer,have the name to attract top players anymore.So face it,we'd (I finally used "we")be signing the likes of Sean Davis and Pedro Mendes(which we just did...Pedro who?),not the likes of Edgar Davids or Ronaldo(the press speculation is a riot to read though).We haven't even managed to sneak into Euorpe via the fairplay option.Hah...

Anyway,I'd end this post now,I've been really writing lengthy stuff here.I love underdogs.Which is why I support Spurs and Spain so much.They'd never achieve anything.But there's a romantic air to it.And when we do actually win something,the joy is just...wow,more like rapture.And as long as the team plays the beautiful football,I guess it's alright to be underachieving.It's wonderful and exciting watching Spurs play,even though I get at least a couple of heart attacks per game.Still,better that than Greek football.

A Short Conversation

It really feels weird to be awake at this hour entering a post but I was woken up by an SMS from a friend who asked about where to study at around her living area (she's not local),while replying her and coaxing her to sleep,I found that I couldn't go back to sleep myself...oh dear...

Oh,about this short conversation,it's a short chat I had with this Taiwanese friend of mine(I'd call her J) on the phone earlier in the night.I haven't spoken to her in ages(4 months to be precise)and strangely while I was actually comtemplating whether to call her or not,up she pops on ICQ!God must be reading my mind,eh...anyway,she wasn't feeling well and was also feeling down as well so I figured I might as well just call her.

The two of us,we always have good conversations.Anyway,the topics of this conversation didn't stray far from what we usually talked about.Her painful relationship with her current Indian boyfriend,who's in India right now and my past relations with someone (let's call her Elf)with someone I still do care deeply about.About J,she's being having this relationship with this Indian engineer who worked in Taiwan briefly for a year or two till June last year.That was when some family matters forced him to return to India (and stay there).Well,it isn't easy maintaining a long-distance relationship and besides this,his mother apparently does not approve of J as well.So in a way,the relationship has hit a block but this is nothing new.Anyway,J has always told me that she doesn't expect out of this relationship because she always figured that he'd go back to India one day and well,she can't go there because she's got responsibilities with the family back in Taiwan.While she knows she probably should give up the relationship for good,she is still stubbornly holding on...why?Bu gan xin.Sigh...

Well,the topic shifted back to me and Elf (actually that's another story)then,because in a way,I was in a similar situation to J's.The only thing being that I've given up long time ago on Elf.This doesn't mean I don't care about her.And I do sometimes think about her still but that's on a rare occasion nowadays.J asked me how did I manage to get over Elf or if I did at all.Oh dear...I was almost struggling for answers to her questions but to encourage her to give up her relationship(it's been hurting her for a long time and I feel too much of it is self-inflicted),I started going on about how I "weaned" myself from thinking about/feeling for Elf,about how I stopped calling her and gradually as time wore on,the feelings were no longer as strong and I could free myself from this relationship again.I don't know how I did it but I sounded convincing to her.

I then told her to start dating again and meet new guys(which was what she had in mind but she's still pining for her boyfriend).The topic then switched back to me again and she asked if I was looking for anyone,which I wasn't.Why?Geee-sus.I couldn't really answer her but I told her at my current state of mind(whatever that is),I didn't know how to care for a girl and maintain a relationship.Besides,I've got a family to feed.Well,J didn't buy that,told me she always thought I was someone who needed a girl by my side and supporting the family was another matter altogether.And was I still pining for Elf?Ooolahlah...no.At least I think not.

J,she's thinking of going to the UK for her studies next year,just to get away from Taiwan and maybe keep her mind off her bf(maybe she can finally break it off then),asked me if I wanted to go with her.Actually I'd love to but I can't.First it'd be lovely to get away from this little island.Secondly,just to keep her company and help her get over things.Unfortunately,these aren't good reasons if I can't even think of what I might want to do there AND I do need to have a steady income.Realities of life.Asked her why she didn't consider Australia or Singapore(I think the STB owes me big-time in promoting Singapore as a education hub...I already "lured" one person to come here to study[the very person who woke me up with the SMS]and now,I was trying to get a second person).Well,according to her,Australian degrees didn't rate too highly in Taiwan because the Taiwanese consider Australian education to be for those looking for a good time...for merry making and fooling around.As for Singapore,well,even if it's good eduaction offered here,it's just not rated as highly because we are still an asain country.The Taiwanese,of course,valued American degrees the most.Falling short fo which,one could still aim for a British cert...even though it's not rated as highly...Pinkerton syndrome.

Hmmm,I've written so much and I'm finally tired enough to go sleep again.There's actually a lot I haven't said yet but I have,sort of,forgotten what points I wanted to make.Well,for startersI'm only serving starters),for someone who's holding steadfastly to a failing relationship even when it's becoming silly to do so,maybe do ask yourself why you are holding on.Bu gan xin?Bu zhi de is more like it.You are only hurting yourself...and others who do care about you and there are lots of them around.

I'm too dazed to think now,mission accomplished.I've wasted myself to sleep and I haven't even gotten all my thoughts out yet,maybe I can write a book...zzzzzzzzzzz...