Monday, February 20, 2006
Khiam Pa Face

Brothers and sisters, put down your fists now, he's intellectually disabled after all.

We really have different terms for this kind of face. In the army, we'd be calling that person a CB face. Alternatively some of us also call these people fcuk face. Sometimes we just call that person a cu*t. Either way, you get the idea. Most of the time, somehow, these faces seem to remind to remind people of intercourse or specifc organs. I really do not quite understand why. Look at this face and you want to have sex? Please, if you really feel attracted to this mug, you either need glasses or IMH admission.

Truth of the matter is though, this is the first time I've heard this label being used on a girl. I never really thought a girl could have a khiam pa face. I thought with girls, it's always you either found them kissable or not (To each his own). Simple, nothing more. Khiam pa? That's new!

In fact, it was so new, I couldn't find any example or think of a girl with a khiam pa face...until I came across this.

So yes, I concede, technically girls can have a khiam pa face.

PS: Yann doesn't really have a khiam pa face lah. She just needs to smile a bit more. Honestly, she looks relatively sweet and has a nice toothy smile....if she bothers with smiling.

Friday, February 17, 2006
Interesting Drug

There are some bad people on the rise
There are some bad people on the rise
They're saving their own skins by
Ruining other people's lives
Bad, bad people on the rise

Young married couple in debt
- ever felt had?
Young married couple in debt
- ever felt had?

On a government scheme
Designed to kill your dream
Oh mum, oh dad
Once poor, always poor
La la la la la
Interesting drug

The one that you took
Tell the truth - it really helped you
An interesting drug
The one that you took
God, it really really helped you

You wonder why we're only half-ashamed?
Because enough is too much!
...and look around...
...can you blame us? Can you blame us ?

On a government scheme
Designed to kill your dream
Oh mum, oh dad
Once poor, always poor
La la la la la
Interesting drug

The one that you took
Tell the truth - it really helped you
An interesting drug
The one that you took
God, it really really helped you

You wonder why we're only half-ashamed?
Because enough is too much!
...and look around...
...can you blame us? Can you blame us ?

- Morrissey's "Interesting Drug"

Thursday, February 16, 2006
Mini$t€r$ ¤₣ £inan¢€

As our beloved PM would say, the salaries of our Ministers have always been well-publicised so it's no sceret at all. And as he also said, they have always explained why the pay needs to be so and that to get quality men, you must give wages that commensurate with their "talent". So I guess that means the higher the pay goes, the higher quality that person is supposed to be?

This is how good our leaders are as compared to some of the leading nations in the world.

Singapore
Singapore President's Basic Salary: US$1,483,000 (SGD$2,373,100) a year
Prime Minister's Basic Salary: US$1,100,000 (SGD$1,958,000) a year
Minister's Basic: US$655,530 to US$819,124 (SGD$1,166,844 to SGD1,458,040) a year

United States
United States of America President: US$200,000
Vice President: US$181,400
Cabinet Secretaries: US$157,000

Britain
United Kingdom Prime Minister: US$170,556
Ministers: US$146,299
Senior Civil Servants: US$262,438

Australia
Australia Prime Minister: US$137,060
Deputy Prime Minister: US$111,439
Treasurer: US$102,682

Hong Kong
Hong Kong Chief Executive : US$416,615
Top Civil Servant: US$278,538
Financial Sec: US$315,077

And that is, my friend, why we get Lee Hsien Loong while you get George Bush. Our leaders are the best in the world, bar none. If LHL was put in charge of the Iraq war, we'd not only have found WMDs in Iraq, we'd have found Martians too.

But this is also why we get Nathan.

Hell, that's a lot of money to spend on pratas.

"Five pratas kosong takeaway please"

Thursday, February 09, 2006
Public Service Nite

Readers, if you have read Luna Esa's blog entry on the SDU event she attended last night, then you'd know I also attended the above-titled event. Well, since she gave a short version/impression of how the event went, I will give mine (the guy's perspective). Naturally, I wouldn't bother to talk about the guys too much but I have to reiterate two points that Luna made about the guys.

One, it was true that the age of the guys there were rather, erm, high. That will have been a disappointment but keep in mind that there were also a few ladies there who were, well, not that young. These kind of things even out. I am sure these older ladies would prefer to have more mature guys there.

Secondly, hell yes. Mr Dark is a very attractive. Even I think he has quite a magnetic personality, can talk, joke very well, is tall and pretty good looking. That's a pretty good package to me. I think Luna does have good chemistry with this Mr Dark. This kind of thing doesn't always just occur like that, so Luna, please take the hint of what I am trying to say.

Now onto the girls...hmmm, what can I say? One by one. Since I went with Luna, I think I am entitled to comment about her. Don't mind me but I think she has a very attractive personality, is gregarious, bubbly and is quite pretty. If you ask me, I can only say, "What's there not to like?" The only thing I can say is that I am surprised guys don't go after her as much as they should.

There was a teacher there called Clara, another General Teacher (another because Pris is also a General Teacher). Erm, I kinda liked her but felt something was not right. Actually, she was the one I thought I'd fancy the moment she came in, kinda like a lesser version of Gerrie (I am talking about the effect she had on me, not the looks). I admit that I have the tendency to size up people before and during the introduction so that by the end of it, I already have a rough idea whether I'd want to follow up or not.

I find she is generally pretty candid, open and pretty articulate. That's well, pretty attractive to me. But after she shared about her previous experiences with SDU with us, I immediately felt something not right. Basically, she had bad experiences whereby weird guys followed up on her by asking, "When shall we go for a date?" and blah blah blah. She didn't really respond kindly to this so after a while, the guy just suddenly exclaimed, "I give up. I don't have so much patience." And well, stuff like that lah.

Now, I have to concede she reacted in the most plausibly correct way any girl would respond, by ignoring or just saying "No". But her inability to see things from another perspective bugged me. I think maybe because I had met girls like Alicia and Joy who are sensible and/or empathetic in their outlook, I thought maybe girls should all be like that. Not the case and it certainly doesn't have to be that way. In the end, I think following-up is not likely for me. I can't quite read her and it is too much of a leap of faith to follow up.

Next up, is this girl called Flora. Flora is a woman in her thirties. That just about automatically crosses her out from my mind. Listening to her talk later, I think I can reasonably deduct that she's a dominant, extraverted and drivened go-getter (who'd likely go for a guy if she fancies him rather than wait for the man to go after her) who definitely knows what she wants. Drivened, go-getter and dominant? Nah, pass lah. I like extraverted but not one that's dominant.

Cheer is a girl who works at A*STAR and is generally shy and quiet (but then again last nigth was the first time she attended a SDU event) but whom I can see is a very nice girl. I admit I didn't to her much and the good impression of her I have is based purely on intuition. Would I like to know more about her? I'd think about it but unlikely, because like Joy, I think she is just too nice. I am afraid of girls who are really good (then why the fcuk am I trying to xian Joy right now? Joy does have something as her trump card, her empathy. I find that damn sexy in a girl, man.)

And the final girl, Q. She didn't leave much of an impression on me besides that like Flora, she's too old for me...but that was until the final talk that we had. From what I hear and can hence, dedcue, she seems a curiously guarded person. Ok, I have to concede I think she's also quite a sensitive girl which is a good thing but her guardedness is slightly unappealing. She almost reminds me of Vivian Balakrishnan when she speaks. Guarded, measured, overly thoughtful as if afraid of upsetting anything and anyone around her.

So in the end, the sum total of the whole exercise is a big fat zero. No matter. I am still on the trail of Joy and Gerrie at the moment (which is another reason why I don't wanna follow up on Clara...doing multiple follow-ups can really cause schizophrenia) anyway things are quite alright. Still trying to find a way to get at Gerrie. There's some progress but she's going on mission trip to Cambodia soon so well, that gives me a bit of breathing space on thinking how to go after her. And damn, I am going out for a dinner with Lilian tonight...I am not sure whether I am looking forward to that.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Sean Bean

"Why the fcuk does Batman got to write about me? Now my rep is ruined..."

Yes, I am sure you must have seen him somewhere on screen this year or last. Think about it and recall. Heck, his great performances have lit up the screen in no small way. In "Flightplan" he was the calm and collected Captain Rich who later lost his balls and thought Jodie Foster was a terrorist. But it's not Sean's fault! It's the script's fault. From the moment he appeared on screen, you just wanted him to get out of the pilot's seat, bum Jodie Foster off the plane and take over the film. Yeah, he's that good.

And what about his role as the evil doctor Merrick in "The Island"? Yeah, the film is a stinker but it's not his fault! If the filmmakers had the good sense to cast him as the lead instead of that Scottish cad Ewan McGregor, "the island" would probably have grossed six times that of "Titanic". It would probably still be a stinker though.

And what about Boromir in the LOTR films? Yeah, he made that role his very own. His manly performance of a flawed vulnerable man who then became arrow practice for orcs must have touched many people around the world. In fact, millions must have wished that it was Aragorn, that chao turtle who can be king but too haolian to want to become one, or Legolas, the elfin Ah-gua, who died instead of the nobly greedy Boromir.

Boromir: "Talk about me somemore and I'd squeeze your balls between my fingers like this"

The great man made all these magnificent roles his. But that's really just the tip of the iceberg. The Man has appeared in just about every movie you've watched. Besides the movies I've mentioned, tick these off as well: "Patroit Games", "National Treasure", "Troy", "North Country", "Ronin", "Don't Say A Word", "Goldeneye" and erm..."Shopping"? Wow, so prolific! Hell, I bet he probably acted in "Fearless" and "Infernal Affairs" too.

Look at all these great movies that Sean has appeared in, don't you think he deserves to have a bigger fanbase? I will be starting a Sean Bean fanclub in Singapore where we can wait in great anticipation for his next small role in a major film and go to the airport to mob him in great numbers if he comes to Singapore (Great stars like him never come to Singapore, but when they do, they usually come in via Tiger Airways...so keep a sharp lookout). People who wish to join this club will have to pay an annual member subscription fee of $925 and will get a fanclub T-shirt embellished with a picture of Sean Bean (which I will kindly print for you guys at a neighbourhood shop for $9 per piece) and a video compilation of all of Sean's peformances so that you can all go home and drool over his masterful performances.

Finally, I have a final word to add. Isn't it a divine injustice that the Academy Awards have overlooked Sean again in their nomination list this year? Where is Sean to be found in the best actor nomination list? Fcuk Joaquin Phoenix, man. Sean Bean can do a better Johnny Cash. In fact, he'd do something that Joaquin Phoenix can't do, he'd do Johnny Cash with a Brit accent. How about that? And Heath Ledger? Fcuk him too. Sean Bean can do "Brokeback Mountain" better as well. In fact, if he did "Brokeback Mountain", it'd NOT be a gay love story because he'd bash that fag Jake Gyllenhaal up before he got within ten metres of the great Mr Bean. It'd be a Oscar-winning movie where Sean Bean finds a code in the American dollar note about some hidden treasure and goes all over the country trying to find that treasure (of course, along the way, he kills Jake Gyllenhaal who's trying to molest him)... hmmm, the plot does sound awfully like another movie though.

Brokeback Mountain: Movie hurt by Sean Bean's non-involvement.

Ok, so who wants to join the club? Before you fellows reply me, take a look at this sexy picture of Mr Bean.

Sean Bean and his D-Cups...bro, wear a bra lah...

Now, girls, tell me you don't fancy the man? I am sure Jake Gyllenhaal would.

Friday, February 03, 2006
The Dating Game

I have to confess I am more than a little sleepy right now and quite tired. Slept at around past 1 last night and woke up at around 6:15. Although I didn't get out of bed until 6:40, I didn't manage to get back to sleep either.

And I am supposed to do some background today for my discussion with Rogue on Monday. I did look through a bit of stuff but I'm really a little dazed to hold my concentration for long. So I thought, "What better thing to do than come here and sprout rubbish?" Ok, so as mentioned earlier, I'd talk about some dating and related stuff that occurred before, during and after CNY.

I had went for a SDU speed dating session for Christians last Thursday. The session was relatively small, peopled by only 4 guys and 10 gals, which was a major surprise for me actually. Not the size of the group, which was for me, small, nice and cosy. The thing that surprised me was the lack of males in the session. Of course, I shouldn't really be complaining about this but it does make me wonder about the under-representation of guys. I will be attending another speed dating session next Wed, this time with Luna Esa, and guess what? Last Luna found out, the number of guys was only 3 (against 8 gals). Hmmm...really, this is weird. Where have all the men gone?

Ok, anyway, the session went alright. I didn't expect a lot and I wasn't given a lot. And as usual, you get your mixed bag of gals. These are the friendly, gregarious and jokey ones which I took an immediate liking to. There were the prim and proper ones (somehow most of the time, these are also the ones who are damn quiet), which I am ok with unless they start being anal. And there are those who are a mixture of the two.

Blah blah blah. Basically, I sieved out four of them that I'd like to, erm, tackle. Their names are (in alphabetical order) Alicia, Gerrie, Joy and Pris. Let me talk about each of them.

Alicia is a bubbly and gregarious gal, who also seemed canny and sensible in her observations of life. I like that a lot and I do find her personality extremely attractive to me.

Gerrie is a quiet girl. I didn't get to talk to her much abd don't know much about her. I confess the only reason why I wanna tackle her is because she's a bit of a looker. I have to work on the basis that she's more than what she lets out. I don't believe that she'd still be so quiet after she's warmed up to someone...but if she is...hmmm...geeez.

Joy is also bubbly and gregarious but there's something about her which make me hold back a little when talking to her. It could be that I felt she was a very prim and proper girl, it could be the feeling I got that she's a very devout person. It took me a few days to a few days to figure out why I was a little guarded with my cock-talking even though she was warm and laughed easily...she reminded me of my old pious, prim and proper ex-cell-group leader whom I had made weep through my distinct lack of passion. GULP!

Pris was something like Alicia, only even less inhibited. So should be better, right? Read on.

Due to some kind of weird arrangement by the organisers, I wasn't able to get their contacts immediately (more of that later). But I managed to get my hands on the contacts of Alicia, Joy and Pris.

So I emailed the three of them. Within two emails, I struck Pris off the list because she sounded lukewarm and less than enthusiastic to correspond. Alicia was her usual self and of the three, I wrote to her most often. I am arranging to meet her this weekend to get a better feel of what she is like but so far, it's been alright.

And as for Joy, phuah...guess what? I think she wants to invite me to her church. This is after I had mentioned during our chat that I wasn't attending any church now. I mean...wow man, xian chabo xian until go church, I must be a siao lang to have to do that. I understand, of course, it's not a bad thing and she means well...but all these reminds me uncannily of...my ex cell-group leader...GULP!

Anyway, the remaining one (and the one I confess I actually must wanna xian) is Gerrie. Now let me talk about how the event worked.

During the event, upon reaching and registering, each of us was given a sheet of paper containing a list of names of the participants of the opposite gender. And there were two questions which aplied to each name: Whether they are polite and respectful during the event and whether one'd like to meet them again. So with such a piece of paper, one would assume that matching would be done at the end of it all, right? If not, then why did they bother asking whether we'd like to meet them again?

But three days after the event, no one got any news. No matching, no follow-up, no nothing. In fact, I had gotten the contact list on my own iniative after going to the SDU website to find out what was going on. Nobody else even knew about the existence of this list until I alerted some of them to it. What the fcuk? And the list wasn't even comprehensive anyway, it didn't have Gerrie's contacts but had the contacts of most others. So well, I had to write a letter to the organisers yesterday night asking for clarification on what is actually happening or was supposed to happen.Were we supposed to exchange contacts on out own? If so, then say so lah, don't make people wait for nothing what!

Ok, as for Gerrie's contact, I got it off Alicia because I was aware that they were sitting at the same table and girls, somehow tended to exchange contacts (don't know for what, I never exchange contacts with guys. For fcuk? I have enough guy friends already), so well, I kind of tested her, found out she got Gerrie's contact and managed to get it. But I haven't contacted her yet...probably later tonight...while she still remembers the event.

And oh, I am meeting Lilian (Aunt Harriet's niece) next Thursday. Don't ask me why, I also don't quite know. I guess I felt a bit bad. Aunt Harriet did ask me about Lilian during CNY. It was inevitable. So I just played dumb to her queries but what surprised me was Lilian's side of the story. Apparently she expected me to call her. She didn't want to call me because she felt it was not right for girls to take iniative. I was like..."Huh? What the..." So ok loh, I call her and arrange to meet for dinner. No big deal really. But at this point I am really wondering what I am gonna talk about with her on that day.

That's a lot of cock and bull I just wrote but what's my point, really? I also don't know. It's just things that have happened to me the past week. A lot of cock and bull that's happening on the dating scene for me here. I had set a resolution that by the end of this year, I'd have to grab some unfortunate chabo with whom I can settle down permanently with. I still haven't got an inkling who that could be, nor may I have even met her yet. But the year still lies long ahead of me...so...boy oh boy...so tiring...

Thursday, February 02, 2006
色魔

Wife: Big, beautiful eyes...hmmm, is she topless?

Just now, as the Office X-Men held a WITS (short for "What Is This Shit?!") meeting at a cozy corner at my Office building. As the cozy corner requires booking and I was the one responsible for that task, I went down to collect the keys to open the cozy corner. And lo and behold, what lay ahead but one of the prettiest receptionists I have EVER seen in this building yet?! The name tag on her table read "Cindy". Her surname shall remain confidential.

"Hello Cindy, wanna be my girl?" 咸湿 Batman invited Pretty Cindy. Immediately, Pretty Cindy says, "Of course, Handsome Batman, you're my man and just to tell you, you're the twenty thousandth person to hit on me." Then she used her handphone to snap a picture of herself and sent it to my Batphone so that this superhero will always be reminded of his maiden. Before kissing me full on the lips, that is. This is her picture.

Pretty Cindy: Don't ask me what "Emotion for Digital" means.

I really gotta go book cozy corner more often. In fact, everyday ah! And wah liao eh, this building got so many maidens for Batman to conquer. Very challenging, but die ah, Batman will become Tiredman soon. So many ladies to satisfy.

Sorry readers for such a nonsensical post, I really wanted to write about my dating exploits and some upcoming ones as well but owing to demands from my readers to keep things short and sweet, that will come as the next post...if you are still reading, that is.