Friday, December 23, 2005
Uncle Batman

Allo kids and adults,

Starting today, in syndication with ST, Uncle Batman will answer to all your complaints posted on ST's forum so that not only do your grievances get aired, they also get answered and you complain kings and queens can rest your minds in peace and live happily ever after. And if you folks are not satisfied with my answers, please take a look at my picture on top. Look at me cracking my knuckles in my black latex suit with hard erotic nipples. Imagine what I can do to you. So shut the hell up and be in peace. When I say anything, it should be the final word.

First letter of the day:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Angsana: National monument.




Dear Uncle Batman,

To spare a mature angsana tree, the authorities built a tree well around it. They also reconfigured a straight three-lane road into two lanes on the left of the tree and one on the right.

I applaud the effort to conserve the tree. Our natural heritage should be preserved.

However, the location of the tree is extremely hazardous to drivers. The rerouting of the road was so sudden that I almost crashed into the tree well one Sunday.

My experience is not an isolated incident for I noticed that some drivers behind me had to swerve suddenly too.

Perhaps the Land Transport Authority should consider the consequences if this situation is not rectified.

An 80-year-old tree may have been saved but an eight-year-old boy may die as a result.

Tay Han Lin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dearest Han Lin,

When our great government decides that a tree is worth protecting, it is ALWAYS done in the name of national interest, but this fact seems to escape you. Now I wonder why?

Do you have an unhealthy disregard for authority? Would you like me to send some of my good old uncle friends from ISD to pay you a visit?

Now I tell you what's good for you. You should enrol in the National Education programme and do some e-learning. It'd be good for you.

And as for the tree being hazardous to drivers. I ask you: What's the small price of a few dozen lives lost compared to the preservation and furtherance of our national heritage?

And do you even have any idea about that tree's significance in the history of Singapore? Let me tell you: It was exactly under this tree here that Sir Stamford Raffles took his first shit on Singapore (Temasek) when he landed here. He had this sudden stomachache and couldn't find a potty.

So bow down under that tree and smell Sir Raffles' turd, you ingrate.

Yours sincerely,

Uncle Batman.

PS: By the way, Han Lin, I can't tell from your name if you are guy or gal. If you are a gal, Uncle Batman want to sayang you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
TT Durai: Gov repossessing his nuts.





Dear Uncle Batman,

The revelations in independent auditor KPMG's report on the National Kidney Foundation (NKF) upset many of my friends and family members severely, as they had many other Singaporeans.

It is inexplicable to us how a high-profile public charitable organisation handling such large amounts of donor funds could be allowed to operate without any semblance of proper governance over so many years - all this in a country that prides itself on being well regulated and governed.

The NKF saga is a national disgrace and responsibility for it lies squarely on the shoulders of the former NKF board members who failed in their fiduciary duty, and the regulators and auditors if they had failed in their duties in any way.

Health Minister Khaw Boon Wan has assured Singaporeans that all wrong-doing will be dealt with to the fullest extent of the law.

I hope the authorities will also consider taking action to recover from the former board members, executive-committee members and staff of the NKF all monies or benefits they received from NKF or cause to be expended in breach of their fiduciary duty that were out of the ordinary, unusual and not in accordance with accepted practices.

These could include, but are not limited to, backdated salary increases going back several months, backdated salary increments given to staff who had tendered their resignation, backdated enhanced leave going back several years which were encashed, and overtime pay for then CEO T.T. Durai for time spent overseas on official duties during weekends and public holidays.

The $30,000 average monthly expenses incurred by Mr Durai on his corporate credit card should also be scrutinised and any inappropriate expenditure recovered.

No one should be allowed to keep any ill-gotten gains, especially if they came from public charity funds.

Reading KPMG's report, I could not help but feel that there had been a plunder of the NKF.

Patrick Yeo Bor Gee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dearest Patrick,

Please be rest assured that the government is doing as best as it can to save its face, erm, I mean salvage the situation and do things right.

There is no doubt that we will pursue all means necessary to have justice done. In fact, we will charge Durai under drug trafficking and have him hanged to satiate the public's bloodlust.

We will charge his entire family under murder charges and have them hanged too.

And we will sue his grandmother, great-grandmother and great-great-grandmother to recover every rupiah that he may have syphoned from NKF. We will recover all the peanuts that Durai took from NKF, maybe we'd even repossess his nuts too. All funds recovered will be directed to NKF's annual D&D to raise dampened morale amongst staff.

And as for the NKF former board of directors, please be rest assured that we have the worst possible fate lined up for them: We will place them in opposition parties for the upcoming elections and make them run in Ang Mo Kio and Marine Parade GRC as SM Goh wishes. Not only will they lose their security deposit when they get trounced, the government will also sue their pants off for defamation no matter what they say or don't say.

Now is this justice or what? :)

Yours sincerely,

Uncle Batman

PS: Can all readers stop writing about NKF already? You guys are boring my tits off all talking about the same point.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday, December 22, 2005
Civil Service Ethos

各位亲爱的公务同志们，你们下午好！

今天，我要再对你们次宣导我们国家公共服务机关伟大的使命与6大宗旨。

请大家随我念一遍，并且记住这将是我们在事业与生活上的哲理。

要是你不是华人，看不懂，所以想告我种族岐视的话，我只能对你说：华语Cool!

这是我们领导说的，所以你要告的话，就去告他们吧。关我屁事。

在念公务员宣言之前，让我们以最亢奋，热情与骄傲的爱国情潮，高喊：李伯伯万岁！


1) 面对领袖时，我们只能说“对”，“行”，“好”，“很好”与“非常好”。其他字眼一盖不可使用。

2) 我们是无党派，无主见的。除非党派有双“P”于党名之内。

3) 我们不管花红有多少，都得从容地笑脸面对，并且高喊，“幸福啊！今年水电费有着落了”

4) 我们对红毛人与李氏企业得特别尊敬。哦，对不起，这是国家人民的共同信念。

5）我们从不偷懒。但也不加工。六点钟不回家的同志得去牢改，接受重新教育。

6）我们不准喜欢NKF和他妈的死杜莱。


好了，大家念牢了吗？没记好的话，明天就别来上班了，懂没？

看不懂的同志们，可Cut and Paste （公务员最拿手的绝招)到Altavista Babelfish去翻译。

Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Guess Who

End of the year quiz for y'all. Give me your answers as comments. I confess I don't have the answers to all these questions so if any of you can answer all these questions...you are truly 八卦王/后.

1) One up and coming local actor who has a middle-aged plastic surgeon boyfriend living in the East of Singapore.

2) An unmarried 30-something Mediacorp actor and a famous blogger are "special" buddies.

3) A certain Ah-Jie became a vegetarian after she broke up with her former bf, also a local actor.

4) A local actress went into a boutique, took some clothes off the shelf and asked to charge it to the owner's account. Unfortunately, the staff member recognised the actress and called the owner's wife to ask what to do. The owner's wife came storming into the boutique and gave the actress a tight slap. From then on, the actress was never seen shopping in that particular chain of boutiques.

5) A certain actress with dangerous curves was known to be an SPG before she met her current boyfriend.

6) A certain 30-something year old MediaCorp actress was known to have a crush on a fellow actor (who is now married). She was also 'romantically involved' with at least 2 other co-stars and was rumoured to be the cause of marital problems between one of them and his wife.

7) A very popular Chinese local female singer is really lesbian.

8) A showbiz couple used to go out on dates in public despite both being very well-known. They were spotted at Holland Village, Plaza Singapura, the Botanic Gardens, restaurants along Kim Seng Road, Zouk and other Mohammad Sultan bars, even though the actress is well known for disliking the partying life.

9) An up-and-coming actor was rumoured to have molested several female co-stars on the set of a serial some time back.

10) A Hongkong actor who came to Singapore to star in a serial famously pissed off the cast, including the lead actress, because of his moody, eccentric and egotistic ways. However, when interviewed, the lead actress politely said "working with ___ was fine, we got along well".

11) A top Singaporean actress who starred in a movie was embarrassed because her foreign co-star gave her the brush-off and ignored her during a high-profile awards ceremony in Singapore.

12) An Ah Jie was scheduled to attend a talkshow by an international Singaporean diva, but because her filming schedule was extended, she came to the talkshow late, only to be told off by the diva. When the filming of the show ended, the Ah Jie was spotted teary-eyed backstage.

13) A certain actress with a wholesome image was formerly an anti-smoking campaign ambassador. However, rumour had it that she smoked.

14) A certain young actress is not able to manage her feelings for her male co-stars. She switched to hosting recently.

15) A very elderly male veteran actor was recently charged with using his mobile phone while driving.

16) A MediaCorp male host is rumoured to be bisexual.

17) Two beautiful MediaCorp actresses competed for a plum role in a drama serial. One of them got it. The other actress got a supporting role, but then rejected it before costume fitting. Rumours flew that she wasn't happy playing second fiddle to the first actress.

18) An award-winning local actress slept with a Hongkong TV producer.

19) Fann Wong mentioned that when she filmed her first TCS drama Dreams Come True in 1994, an actress sneered at her and said, "with your type of acting, you'll never make it".

20) A hunky actor starred in a Hongkong film in which he played a gay character. He acted as another gay in a Singapore-Hongkong movie co-production. Who is he?

21) This travelogue host reportedly seduced the boyfriend of a local popular then-pop star, then had a foreign boyfriend for a while before attaching herself to a hunky actor, who is a close friend of the pop star mentioned above. Because of this, the pop star's friendship with the hunky actor kinda thinned out.

22) A MediaCorp actor was accused of molesting a Hongkong actress. It turned out that the Hongkong actress's publicist concocted the rumour.

23) A local actress who endorsed a slimming pill product was embarrassed one day during filming, when the white skirt she wore had oil stains leaking from her bum.

24) A very slim actress has a well-known weakness for Snickers chocolate bars. Her voracious appetite for Snickers is well-known despite the fact that she's incredibly slim-waisted.

25) A Singaporean pop star was accused of being rude to a camera shop owner in Far East Plaza.

26) A Singapore pop singer who released 3 albums is unpopular among her colleagues because she's deemed to be fake.

27) There is a middle-aged actor who had a reputation for being 'close' to young actresses on the set, until about 10 years ago, when this new actress screamed blue murder and complained to the top management.

28) A local actress who was filming in Taiwan went to a massage shop and nearly got 'molested'.

29) A local actress has the habit of plying reporters with gifts from her fans.

30) A Channel NewsAsia female host is well known for her bad temper and constant bitching on the set.

31) An outspoken actress who once acted in a Hollywood movie quarrelled with an international star in Singapore.

32) An actress and actor fell in love on the set, but the actor married someone else. On their wedding day, the actress left Singapore so as to avoid his wedding dinner. Subsequently, the couple collaborated successfully in a number of popular serials, and caused the wife of the actor to become consumed with jealousy. This resulted in a very public breakup.

33) A local actress recently went to China to shoot a drama serial. When she was at the ulu filming city, the first thing she said was, "Where is this godforsaken place?" She refused to mix with the cast and crew from China, Hongkong and Taiwan, and shut herself in her room. Other than filming, she refused to talk to anyone except the director. Her co-stars ignored her.

34) A certain local band wrote a song named after a popular local actress, which criticised her command of the English language and hinted that her lifestyle contributed to the rise of materialism among her fans.

35) "The most aggressive female actress in MediaCorp". There's only one.

36) A certain veteran actor had to sleep on the couch after his wife kicked him out of bed for posing with a beauty queen in a series of advertisements.

37) An actress who was shopping at a bookshop in Takashimaya was rude to a sales cashier and this male cashier was so pissed off, he slammed her change on the table even though she had her hands outstretched to receive it. This actress gave him a killer stare and stalked off with her actor boyfriend.

38) A local female singer was rumoured to have slept around with many men.

Happy Guessing!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005
King Kong

The Protagonist in his self-titled film "King Kong"

"Magic for the price of a ticket"

So says a character in the film "King Kong" and to that end, Peter Jackson gives us a 3-hour-long swashbuckling action adventure that just about delivers as much as what that character promised. Indeed, "Kong" can just about be summarised as a 3-hour rollercoaster ride that delivers its fair share of thrills and spills but with a emotional core at its centre.

Unlike many other action films, "Kong" doesn't deliver its thrills straight to us on a platter. It takes a long time to build. The story begins in depression-era 1930s New York where a struggling vaudeville artiste, Ann Darrow (a quite fetching Naomi Watts), soon finds herself unemployed when her theatre closes down. Faced with the unappetising prospect of starring in a strip joint and hunger, she is reduced to stealing which is how she meets Carl Denham (Jack Black), an ambitious filmmaker in no small spot of trouble himself. He is facing the prospect of losing ownership of his half-completed film as his financiers sought to repossess his film reels to sell as footage to recoup some small consolation for their heavy investment. Carl recruits Ann for his leading lady role (after his former leading actress walks out on the film) and then sets about deceiving Ann and struggling playwright, Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody) into boarding a rickety ship allegedly bound for Singapore for filming (STB gets extra mileage here. Wanna do a King Kong-theme tour for Singapore? You know, the "Where Carl Denham of King Kong might have shot his movie in Singapore" tour. Includes, erm, Sentosa, Boat Quay and Mohd Sultan Road) but which is really travelling towards Skull Island for footage. In the course of this journey, Ann and Jack will also find themsleves falling in love.

Wow, and that was just the opening act I was talking about. The second act of this film then takes place on Skull Island which is where Jackson keeps the action coming thick and fast relentlessly.

The film and boat crew, led by Captain Englehorn (Thomas Kretschmann) a hunter who hunts for exotic animals to sell, soon find themselves crashing into the mysterious, fog-enveloped Skull Island during a storm and before long, the crew encounters the natives (Jackson makes an interesting choice here. He reduces the natives to Orc-like savages. It almost feels like a LOTR tribute) who attack the film crew and then have the boat crew besiege them in return.

However, before long, Ann would be captured and offered as a sacrifice to the mysterious Kong who only now appears on screen after an hour or so of setup. And then all hell breaks loose.

Jack and Carl soon find themselves leading a rescue mission to save Ann who is captured by Kong. And this long mission here is punctuated with loads and loads of hideous monsters hidden in the island that the rescue crew encounters. Besides enountering a herd of rampaging Brontosauruses, the crew is assaulted by Kong, the big primate himself, assorted man-sized creepy crawlies that devour people for food and later, huge vampire bats. To describe all these in words can't quite do justice to what happens on screen but trust me, the action doesn't let up and it's a thrill-a-minute ride that Jackson cleverly serves up.

This second act is intercut with sequences involving Ann and Kong which really gives the movie its heart and sweetness. For instance, when Ann is first captured and tried to escape, she is then faced by the 20-foot Kong which tries to establish itself as lord of the house with with furious teeth-baring and chest pounding. Her reaction, to dive straight into her stage routines to amuse Kong, provokes a reaction from Kong that really indicates the true nature between captor and captive. This is later further established by a furious battle between Kong and 3 (yes, THREE) T-Rexes as Kong tries to protect Ann, leading to a scene where Ann begins to understand Kong and this creates a beautiful scene at the end of it all where the two sit together to appreciate a breathtaking panorama view of a sunset.

Oh well, all things (good or bad) must come to an end. Driscoll soon finds Ann and manages to rescue Ann from Kong while Carl (after smashing his camera and losing everything that he came to Skull Island for) hatches a plot with Captain Englehorn to use Ann as bait and lure and capture the gigantic primate for show in NY. They, of course, eventually succeed as Kong's longing for Ann proves his undoing.

The film then goes into its third and final act where the captured Kong is transported back to NY and is presented as a the central piece of a grotesquely tasteless cabaret show. I will go brief here. Kong will, of course, break free and seek out Ann who finds him. The two will enjoy a brief, peaceful and quite heartwarming (or heartbreaking, depending on your perspective) moment on a frozen lake in Central Park before a frenzied run across rooftops leads to the final ascent up the Empire State Building as seemingly, the entire army goes after him. What happens after, we all know.

I will not delve into individual performances here but will simply say that all of the cast did their job very well. Naomi Watts screams with the best of them but more importantly, establishes a tenderness and understanding with her CGI co-star which helps the audience to sympathise with the giant ape. Jack Black is, well, his usual OTT self but one doesn't go to see Black without expecting anything less and Adrien Brody, well, I never saw him as an action hero (he doesn't have the looks for it) but Jackson somehow frames him like he is one and Brody is, surprisingly, always convincing in his role.

The central character is, of course, King Kong himself and here, as essayed by Andy Serkis, another CGI creation (after LOTR's Gollum) comes alive on screen and matches the live-action actors par for par (which is more than one can ask for from a CGI creation). Kong is, at turns, angry, contemplative, playful, sad, possessive, protective and somehow, always misunderstood. And there in, lies the gist of Kong. A huge, misunderstood and lonely creature who may have finally found a soulmate in Ann but will be denied this companionship because the world, at large, does not understand him, his reasons, his fears and in turn, fears him because of these unknowns. But because Ann understands him (and perhaps the audience as well), she feels and cares for him in a way that others, too busy trying to bring him down, do not.

Too many blockbusters, in their attempts to razzle-dazzle the audience, fill up their screens with CGI and leave out a story and emotions. Some will service their movie with a passable plot but do not create or establish characters that audiences could truly care for. Many a times, the quiet moments they offer are, at best, perfunctory. They lack any real interest in establishing concrete characters and relations. In simple words, they lack heart.

What Peter Jackson has done in "Kong" is not only to use amazing CGI to service a well-known tale and entertain but also to give it an emotional core that lifts it above most other blockbusters. Kong and Ann are given screentime to establish a relationship and hence, despite knowing that Kong isn't really real, I cared for him and felt a certain sadness for his eventual demise. And that is no mean feat.

Roger Ebert called "Kong" one of the best movies of the year. I'm not too sure about that. But it is one of the better movies I have seen this year and it is certainly one of the best popcorn movies (blockbusters) this year. And for that, I will recommend it.

8/10

Sunday, December 11, 2005
A History Of Violence

Viggo Mortensen in "A History of Violence"


I've watched a couple of films in recent weeks that I've admired but not necessarily liked. One of those films was "Closer", a bruising, fiercely articulate film about deception, infidelity and emotional brutality. The other film which caught my admiration was "A History of Violence", a David Cronenberg tale about well, violence.

"History" is a tale about Tom Stall (Viggo Mortensen), a Midwestern family man and owner of a popular neighborhood restaurant who lives a quiet but fulfilling existence in Millbrook, Indiana. With a loving and beautiful lawyer wife Edie (Maria Bello), a cute-as-a-button daughter Sarah (Heidi Hayes) and a meek but well mannered teenage son Jack (Ashton Holmes), this postcard-perfect portrait of small-town Americana couldn't be any more picturesque. But things are about to change...

One night, two ruthless killers (Stephen McHattie and Greg Bryk) draw their guns in a robbery attempt at Tom's diner. But Tom, in a virtuoso (and heroic) moment that seemed to even surprise himself, despatches and kills both with breathtaking speed, deadly force and some measure of brutality.

But much to his chagrin, he is plastered all over the news for his heroics and he gets huge and unwanted publicity over his actions. The publicity also brings about the appearance of a mysterious trio of strangers who follow the Stalls' every move. These include Carl Forgarty (a malevolent and very good Ed Harris), a badly scarred Irish mobster from Philadelphia and two hoods in his employ who all insisted that they knew Tom and that he really was someone named Joey.

As this situation is confronted, secrets will be uncovered, identities will be questioned and lifes will be taken as the situation spins uncontrollably towards a fitting climax with another mobster in Philadelphia by the name of Ritchie Cusack (William Hurt).

I guess I am being deliberately vague here in describing the revelations that will follow and the relationships of all these characters involved. In my opinion, it is probably best left to audiences to discover for themselves the plot and the twists which are to follow. Now that I've got the plot out of the way, I'd talk about what I admire about this movie.

There is quite a bit to admire about this film. Let me first state that I find it quite a relief that David Cronenberg decided to tell this tale in a relatively linear story arc which made it easy to follow everything. It might seem strange to praise someone for telling a story straight but one has to take into account, director Cronenberg's reputation for quirkiness (and seeming fetish for squirmish and grotesque uses for body parts). Cronenberg tells his story expertly here, with subtle signs of unease that continues to build throughout the film.

But he was also more than ably assisted by a group of splendid actors who bring the characters on screen to life. I never took much notice of Viggo Mortensen. I thought that his Aragorn in LOTR was too much of a straight-forward hero to suggest anything about how good an actor Mortensen really was. Which might be why I was slightly surprised by how good Mortensen was in this role. In his potrayal of Tom, Mortensen first impressed upon us the image of an all-good average American family man before creating changes in tone that could suggest otherwise. Now this is good acting. For until his identity was unveiled, I was left confused as to who Tom really was. Was he Tom pretending to be Joey to protect his family? Or was he really Joey pretending to be Tom all the time but finally forced to confront his past? Consider too the rough stairway sex scene between Mortensen and Bello and contrast this with the playful and tender sex scene earlier between the two. Spot the contrast and tell me what this says about Tom and possibly Edie as well.

The other supporting roles in the cast too did a great job in their roles. Bello (whom I have never noticed either) oozes ample warmth and love at the beginning of the film before showing appropriate uncertainty and fear for what was to follow.Holmes, as the teenage son, also shows laudable range that suggests uncertainty, fear and anger. And Ed Harris? Well, he is nothing short of his usual self, delivering a flawless performance that once again he is one of the best character actors in the business.

And yet the one who could potentially have delivered a tour de force in this film must really be William Hurt. Much had been made (by critics) over his brief but unforgettable performance in the final act of the film. Many have described his performance as pure scenery-chewing mastery, but a number have also described his act as OTT and overtly showy. For me, I am more inclined to go with the former although I could could see why people might see Hurt as showboating. Reactions really do depend on each individual's taste and perception but I think no one can deny that Hurt's performance is so fun that it really does add to the film's enjoyment, whether likeable or not.

Another thing that I liked about "History" is Cronenberg's communication of his ideas and the thoughts they provoke. "History" had a number of points to make (Cronenberg had openly said in an interview that "History" had three levels: The title refers (1) to a suspect with a long history of violence; (2) to the historical use of violence as a means of settling disputes, and (3) to the innate violence of Darwinian evolution, in which better-adapted organisms replace those less able to cope.) and Cronenberg, in my opinion, brings these expertly across. While the first two points should be obviously enough to anyone who watches the film, the third might not come across that easily. But consider how Tom despatches of the threat of the two killers in his diner and again, how he finished off various other opponents in later parts of the film. Those situations were life and death, killed-or-be-killed dilemmas. And what about Jack's stunning response to being bullied in school? Only the strongest will survive?

While I have stated why I admired the film, I have yet to say why I didn't quite like it. Well, the film felt cold to me. Although it did leave me thinking on several issues that it raised, I didn't find myself as engaged as I thought I might be. And I usually don't like films that do not stir emotions within me when I leave the cinema.

So could I recommend it? I am not too sure. There are bits of violence here which audiences might find uncomfortable, although to me, they perfectly accentuate the ugliness of violence (How many stylised action movies have we seen that blows away people like they are not human?) and the audience is forced to confront a moral issue as we shown the bloody aftermath of some of Tom's actions (which, let's be honest, we want to see): Does it make it alright to kill, disfigure or maim just because a "good" person is doing it to a "bad" guy?

And finally, I also urge people who are going to watch the movie to consider the final scene. This is the one scene which I find I couldn't agree with some critics who reviewed the movie. Some have described it as hopeful. Some have described it as redemptive and yet chilling. For me, what I saw was uncertainty, pain and perhaps, reconciliation. Is reconciliation the same as hope? And how could redemption be found after all that had happened? But if redemption was truly the point of that scene, then yes, I do find it truly chilling.

7/10

Thursday, December 01, 2005
X-Men Convention

Colossus: Even the metalman can be reduced to tears in the company of Evil Mutants

The small-group discussions didn't really throw up anything interesting to talk about,so much so that I had to sneak a yawn at White Queen during a short break.Anyway,it's during the big group discussions when things got a little more interesting.

• During Group B's presentation,some interesting things went on.Scarlet Witch was the one arrowed to present and anyway,according to Banshee,she had failed to contribute anything during the discussion (merely smiling and nodding,according to him) and hence,it was only fair that she was made to do something.Scarlet Witch was,in my eyes,extremely nervy during the presentation and stumbled and stammered her way through the points.This,of course,was much to the sarcastic arse Banshee's amusement and he was,apparently,laughing and chortling and whatever at the girl's predicament (I didn't see) and for some reason,Iceman was also doing likewise.That was when,out of the corner of his eye,Banshee spotted Astra glaring at him poisonously and he immediately stopped.I'd lay the context for this later.

Astra: Staring daggers

• During Group C's presentation,when Destiny presented,again some interesting things went on.First off,I felt Destiny presented relatively well and that judgement is not clouded by the fact that she's my sister.Well,anyway,her group brought up some points that Apocalypse felt he needed to clarify.That was when Blob suddenly came in.He suddenly started talking about some point,which was for me,rather bull and when Apocalypse explained his stand,Blob just wouldn't let go of it.So he just went on and on and on and bored the fcuk out of me.And maybe just a number of others as well.

Blob: "My point is RIGHT,why won't you accept my point?!Boohoohoo..."...oh well,the big pussy

• Ok,this might seem a little haphazard but I'm going to talk about what happened before Group A's presentation.It isn't actually haphazard because the order of presenting didn't go by alphabetical order but by some weird colour coding scheme thing which made absolutely no sense to me...unless the intention was to create confusion.Anyway,for Group A, 陈慧珊 was the designated presentor but when the group's name was called,everyone in the group stayed rooted to their seats.Nobody got up.And so with the entire room's attention focused on the team,what happened?Astra resorted to another glare at the rather likeable Quicksilver and motioned for him to present instead.Which he did.But what the fcuk...throughout this entire episode,陈慧珊 was sitting black-faced and obviously refused to get off her butt and do her job.What's that attitude all about?

Quicksilver: Looking miserable...you'd too if you kena arrowed for nothing

• A final point I had was that when Jean Grey presented her slides during the convention,the mike she was using had so much echo that she sounded like U2 prsenting slides in a stadium or a karaoke lounge,whichever has more echo.Hers was one of the few presentations where I wasn't following the words but the echo of the words.Absolutely mesmerising.

Jean Grey: Went all mental during her presentation

Ok,now let me talk about matters outside of the convention but within the Office.Remember what I wrote about Astra's glare at Banshee?I'm going to set the context now.The lovely Astra was apparently glaring not just at Banshee but at Iceman as well.But why?Well,a couple of weeks ago,there was a sudden resignation in the shape of S.S is part of a power trio consisting of Astra,Scarlet Witch and S.The background behind her resignation was this.

S was apparently one of the worst performers in the branch and her non-performance has been the concern of some of the X-Men.What's really irritating them though wasn't just her non-performance but her tendency to get all defensiveness about her performance as well as a "victim" mentality which she apparently held.It seemed that whenever Psylocke gave her work or anything like that,she'd feel like she was being targeted by Psylocke.Apparently Astra and Scarlet Witch often did the same.

Now,assuming that they've had all of their patience finally exhausted (that's me assuming),they went directly to the demi-god to report about S,instead of getting their head,Mystique to talk to S.

Now,before we get ahead of ourselves,Mystique is no great boss.Apparently,Mystique is one boss who doesn't like to get her hands dirty doing any work.There was once when Mystique had a high level presentation she had to make and she dilly dallyed until one day before the actual event when she dumped it on the departed Cyclops,told him to deliver the goods and went on leave herself.Cyclops then went to his sugar-mummy,the demi-god to complain about the thing (Now let's not kid ourselves,what Mystique did was crap but Cyclops does have an unusually chummy relationship with our demi-god).So the demi-god duly summoned Mystique back from her vacation and told her that was not right.

Mystique: Gosh,if only the real-life Mystique dressed like this...wait a minute...eeeeew,perish that thought

What did Mystique do?She summoned Cyclops,Iceman and Polaris to her side and made the grand speech that she did not want to do dump the presentation on their laps as such high level presentation would unceremoniously end their career quickly if they didn't do it well and so she's doing the gallant thing by taking it back and presenting it herself...BUT they had to prepare the slides for her.And so,she made the trio prepare the slides while she went home.The three stayed till 12 midnight to complete the slides.

So now,you got a picture of what Mystique is like and obviously,she didn't want to talk to S(?).So the demi-god was the one who delivered the message and of course,S promised to buck up.She didn't.

And that got some of the X-Men so fed up that she went multipo-amano (there's no such phrase,I coined it) and S felt si beh buai song so she quit the next day,complaining to the demi-god that it was not right.Now I have no desire who the ringleaders are in this act but Astra and Scarlet Witch,being so close to S,almost certainly must have felt their friend was being victimised and driven out of this place (which is a crap place anyway) and that's how all the glaring came about.

My take on this whole event is the same as Psylocke's.I think S should take some fcuking responsibility for her own action and maybe S,Astra and Scarlet Witch should take the stinking boot that's stuck so far up their arse and stop behaving like they just experienced everything in the Book of Job (that is,if they're really like that,which I hope they're not).Nobody forced S out.I think no matter what people do or tell you,ultimately everything comes down to choices and they are your choices,not anybody else's.Don't blame what you chose on other people.

The thing that bothers me in this whole episode is the way hearsay and gossip is spreading around in this place.It is creating a poisoned atomsphere which I really really do NOT want to be part of.Banshee usually seems to be a central part of this,with his sources,stories and all.He always got this or that to say about people which reveals the ambitious and darker side of others (but what does it say about his own character?Because this is quite some feat of character assassination he is engaging in).

Am I guilty just by virtue of listening to all these without discimination?Do I really need to know who and who is an ambiotious arsehole,who and who is polishing apples?Sure,it is entertaining but what's really the point?Good,clean,harmless fun?When does harmless cross the line to become harmful?Or does it never?I asked myself this for several nights this week.I don't know but I know I don't feel good about it.So I am trying as much as possible not to engage myself in all these talking that's going on,to shut myself out from eveything.It's better that way.Ignorance is bliss.Or maybe as Psylocke said perfectly,it's really just time to move.

Banshee: Would fly to your side just to gossip...oh here he goes again

I really do not want to think of people the way I do and I'm frankly tired of all these gossips.In my four years here,I think this is the worst time ever working here.I can tolerate a bad environment but when even the people here become poisonous caricatures in your mind,how can I even want to be around them anymore,let alone work with them?Holding the opinions I have about them and which I wish I don't.And with the re-org coming up,there's a whole spectrum of factors which is creating an entirely different working dynamic with different people.Nothing will stay the same and that is the worst part because it means you don't know who you're dealing with in the future.

I find it hard to find a conclusion to this post...and it has been a LONG one.I'm just so glad the weekend is coming soon and I have a few days respite from all these rubbish.