Saturday, November 06, 2004
Girls with Long Hair

I am feeling generous today, so generous that I am going to write an inexplicably long post and make everyone who reads this blog suffer with me.But anybody who reads my posts know that I always write extremely long posts anyway so they'd have had plenty of practice by now.Hah.Today was a weird day.It seemed that from the moment I woke up,there was an avalanche of news that greeted me both on my mobile,email and the net.Let's go through them one by one.

First,let me ask you guys:have you ever had the experience of an ATM machine,SAM machine or Ezilink top-up machine suddenly swallow up your ATM card and refuse to spit it out no matter what buttons you press?And then,of no apparent reason again,just when you have given up,it spits the card out in mockery of your panic.It happened to me tday at an Ezilink top-up machine.Ok,so I used a bent and clearly cracked ATM card,but that's no reason for the card to swallow my card and then stare in the face and demand,"Please insert your ATM card"when mine was already in the slot.Imagine my panic.I was staring at the machine and going "SH*******T"and pressing the "Cancel" key again,again and again to no avail.Finally,I decided to use my second ATM card to nudge my first card further into teh slot so the mechanism could spring the thing back out again.Fortunately it did.Or I'd look like a schmuck standing there staring at the machine.And fortunately,there was no one behind me too.But you understand the panic.What if there was a long queue behind you and the machine refuses to spit it out.And you got to stand there.Because your stupid card is there and if it gets spits out and you are not there,who knows if the guy standing next in line is the most sophisticated password hacker in the world who can hack your password within three attempts?So dangerous.And you can imagine my face.It was so ashen white when the card got stuck,Sammi Cheng would have been proud of my fairness.No need for SKII,just have your ATM card eaten by some malicious ATM machine and you get exactly the same effect.

Jacques Santini,the French poodle coaching my favourite team Tottenham Hotspur,quit last night in a sudden decision.Just great.Now we have no manager again.Whatever three year plan he said he envisioned for my club just got expressed-laned into a three month plan.I hope you had a great time while you were here,Jacques,because I sure didn't!As most know,I was never convinced of Monsieur Santini's tactics or his man-mangement skills...in fact,even if his English although I looked forward to his interviews because his French accent was fabulously awful.Good riddance in all truth.I was looking forward to perhaps another brand-name manager like Louis Van Gaal or old English dog Sir Bobby Robson but it seems assistant manager Martin Jol will get the job instead.English League Championship (that's the old Division 1),here we come!

Typically in Singapore,we have many campaigns like the Courtesy Week,Road Safety Week and Clean Toilet Bowl Week.I have now added a new week in this busy campaign calendar of ours.I dub the 1-7th November Resignation Week.This is in memory of Prof X who finally decided that all his talk about quitting was getting to us all and finally took action.This is also in memory of Jacques Santini who finally ended my three months of misery.Oh,it just so happens that another friend of mine,Ginola,who was working in my good friend,Ike's company also quit last week.This was in more acrimonious conditions though.Apparently,he left in a huff during lunch and didn't tell Ike about it (He was being mentored by Ike and was in his team.Ike is the team leader).The next day,he came in to hand in his letter.I don't know what the situation was but well,I just think Ginola didn't handle things too maturely.I mean,well,he has been working for three full years now,if not more.He should understand how the working world works.The amount of backstabbing,the deliberate taunting and the bullying that can take place.Seemingly,he couldn't take it down and left the place just like that.I don't know.Such impulsive actions only taints his character in the eyes of others,making him out to be a petulant individual when he's not.I wouldn't advise anyone to do this.If you are angry,count to 10 and try to cool down.If 10 is not enough,count to 100.The thing is,angry actions is not something one should display too often in a society that doesn't even seem to like assertiveness.But then coming from me,it sounds like the Hulk telling people not to get angry.

This morning,I happened to go into my mates' Twoeggs blog and I chanced upon a fabulously intoxicating and impressively intellectual comment left by one of my mates' mate.Actually,it took me two reads before I understood what the words mean.Wow!That's just like reading one of my statistics textbooks.I guess I am one of those dimwits who do not understand great insights.Or...maybe intellectual giants should stop acting pompus and talk in terms that the Average Joe can understand.After all,what's the point of writing in terms that only dicts (dictionaries) or dicks can understand?Great intellect is in the ability to communicate complex ideas in simple terms.Anybody can talk mambo jumbo.

Oh yes yes yes.I finally get into the most important issue of the day.Girls with long hair...and why guys like girls this way.Seriously,I have no clear idea why but if anybody want to sponsor and commission me to do a study on this,I'm more than willing.I think I did once talk about what guys look for in a girl but I never talked about why guys like long hair.And even though I have no clear idea on why guys like girls to have long hair,I can hazard a guess.After all, I am also a hot red-blooded male with a throbbing.....................................heart.

For starters,the social conditioning of long hair being associated with femininity (that's a handful to spell) is one major factor...of course.I won't even go into it too much even though I think this social conditioning thing is a bit silly.Or maybe girls like their hair long anyway.I don't know.

Well,I think guys like their girls to have long hair because we want our partners to look "different".Imagine,you with the short hair walking with another girl with short hair.Somehow the picture doesn't look too good.But what if you have a girl with a cascading waterfall of a hairstyle walking alongside you.Imagine when the wind blows.Woah,I tell you,one major Pantene moment.Guys love that...even though they might eat hair in the process if the wind direction is not "right".

Also I think guys like to run their hands through the hair of their girls.Or even to wash it for them.You know,just like one of those three lecherous brothers did for Julia Ormond in Legends Of The Fall.Ok,actually I am not too sure if that's such a scene but you get the idea right.Personally i'd like to run my hand through my girl's hair...to push it back for her,to caress it,to tie it into Sennheisser headphones-shaped buns just like Princess Leia.Cool.Guys love to play with hair(I hope that doesn't sound lewd?).Imagine,a guy is running his hand through his girl's hair and then it ends abruptly at her ears.Wah liao.Major anti-climax.No fun."What am I supposed to run my hand through now,dear???Your armpit hair???"

Girls always seem to take good care of their hair so that it's always shiny,silky,soft and erm,dyed.Wait a second,I suddenly realise most girls have dyed hair.I'd just like to ask what's wrong with black hair,girls?Is it boring?I don't think guys find black hair boring...why do you think so many guys find Jeon Ji-Hyun hot?Part of it got to do with her hair.Anyway,yeah...like I said,girls take good care of their hair...and well,since your hair is so well-taken care of,we like to apprecaite it in GREAT lengths.Too much of a godo thing is never bad.Unless you are talking about watering plants.And since the hair can be so soft,we love to lie on it or bury our heads in it.I could be confusing it with the bosom though.

It's almost thee nd of the day now.I better end this post before 12 midnight.Actually it's more because I've ran out of things to write.Mind you,I started this post from 12-something NOON and only completed it now.Intermittently,I was eating,drinking,sleeping,lazing,surfing the net,watching TV and finally,writing.What a weekend.What a pig.That's me,that's me.

Before I finally go,I can't resist posting these words here...dedicated to all self-important and/or attention seeking people(anyone comes to mind?):


You live upon a stage, and everyone's agreed
You're the brightest hope by far that anyone can see
So when you take the limelight you can guarantee
You're gaining fame and claiming credibility
Tell me baby are you gonna get high as a kite?
Tell me baby are you gonna let it happen every night?
How can you expect to be taken seriously?

You live within the law, and everyone assumes
You must find this a bore, and try something new
You're an intellectual giant, an authority
To preach and teach the whole world about ecology
Tell me baby are you gonna make any other claim?
Tell me baby are you gonna take any of the blame?
How can you expect to be taken seriously?
How can you expect to be taken seriously?
Seriously
Seriously

You live within the headlines, so everyone can see
You're supporting every new cause and meeting royalty
You're another major artist on a higher plane
Do you think they'll put you in the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame?
Tell me baby how you generate longevity?
Tell me baby how you really hate publicity?
How can you expect to be taken seriously?
How can you expect to be taken seriously?
Seriously
Seriously
Seriously, aah

Do you have a message for your fans?

How can you expect to be taken seriously?
How can you expect to be taken seriously?
Seriously
Seriously
Seriously
Seriously
Aah, seriously