Saturday, November 20, 2004
Life Of A Salesperson

Today is Saturday,one of only two days in the week when I can wake up late,go brush my teeth,have a sumptous breakfast and then go back and sleep again.Isn't that great or what?I have no idea why I need to catch up with so much sleep but it probably got to do with the fact that even on the weekends,I wake up at 8.That's not late,you say.But my usual waking time on a weekday is 6:30.So 8 is still late by comparison.I think my bio-clock doesn't adjust itself very well.

Anyway,I went for my brunch at the Hougang NTUC Mall at 11 and had a filling Sirloin Steak brunch before going downstairs to do some miscellaneous rubbish.For instance,I went to the library and got my hands on The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown.Yes,I am one of the rare swakus in the entire universe who has not read the book yet.I just got to see for myself what the whole fuss about this book is all about.Actually I don't think I might even end up finishing it.I quote Roger Ebert on his feelings about the book in his review of the new Jerry Bruckheimer flick "National Treasure":

"If you are one of the millions, like me, who plowed through The Da Vinci Code,you can be forgiven for thinking they've made it into a movie.And in a way, they have, but the movie is titled "National Treasure."This new Jerry Bruckheimer production is so similar in so many ways to the plot of the Dan Brown best seller that either (a)the filmmakers are the only citizens of the entertainment industry who have never heard of The Da Vinci Code,no,not even while countless people on the set must have been reading the book, or (b)they have ripped it off. My attorneys advise me that (a) is the prudent answer.

That I have read the book is not a cause for celebration.It is inelegant,pedestrian writing in service of a plot that sets up cliff-hangers like clockwork,resolves them with improbable escapes and leads us breathlessly to a disappointing anticlimax.I should read a potboiler like The Da Vinci Code every once in a while, just to remind myself that life is too short to read books like The Da Vinci Code..."

So yeah,Mr Ebert didn't like it much apparently.I am not one to always agree with critics,even a Pultizer Prize winner like Ebert.There have been times when I felt Ebert has been overtly harsh on certain movies and underrated others.He's after all,just another homosapien,so why should there be such a big deal about he thinks?We should all form our own opinions based on our own experiences.So I'd like to read for myself before coming to a conclusion.And if it sucks like Ebert said,I'd fall back on the half-read "1984" I have never felt inclined to finish or "Heart Of Darkness" for that matter.

Ok,so after I borrowed that book,I went to the ground level where Oto is having this health roadshow and out of the corner of my eye,I saw a saleslady holding some brochures and plugging some product to an old lady.No salesperson ventured near me so I gather that I am not part of their ideal demographic (specifically the nearing middle-age male group).Anyway,the old lady was obviously not interested.She was,kind of,rolling her eyes and looking all over the place but never at the salesperson herself who gamely went on and on.I have to say something.I admire such doggedness...even if I don't really want to be on the receiving end of it.But there's still plenty to admire in the persistence...and a lot of other things about sales personnel.

I could never do sales.Period.I do not have the drive,I give up too easily and I don't have the outgoing nature to go out to complete strangers and start plugging massage chairs or anti-hairloss cream.I know what I can do and what I can't.Sales being one of the things I'm ill-equipped to do.But I admire people who can do what I can't do...which is why I admire sales personnel.

Most sales personnel do not have a very high basic salary,that is,if they even have any.Usually a whole chunk of what they earn is based on commissions.So if you sell a lot,you earn a lot.If you don't,well,wake up your idea and start finding ways to do better because you'd be earning peanuts.I'd admit that I lack such drive and iniative.Must be a civil servant mentality eh?How much I earn has nothing to do with how much output I churn out.If it depended on output,I'd be earning $50 a month.So theoretically,I should be glad I am handsomely rewarded for what little I do.Well,I am in a way.And sometimes I justify that it should not be about the volume of work that I churn out but the quality of the products that I produce.One should spend good time gathering and analysing information rather than doing a cut-and-paste hackjob...those in the know,I think would smile at this statement...

I have a friend who's a insurance agent (I'd consider that a sales position since how many policies you seel determines the amount of income you get).He is constantly moving from place to place,meeting new people,trying to match each person's needs with the products he sells and preparing all the nitty gritty stuff all by himself.I am quite amazed at his drive and commitment.I doubt if I can be as driven as him but then again,thrust me in his situation and I might end up doing as much as him.

Also,consider how much pride one must put aside sometimes when pitching products to an uninterested potential customer.How thick skinned you must be.Remember that Oto girl I was talking about.That auntie she was talking to was looking left,right,up and down...anything but AT her.How demoralising is that?Imagine talking to someone who'd look past you,around you and through you but never at you.I don't think I have the stomach for that either.

And remember another basic thing about sales personnel.Most of them have to work on weekends when all their friends and family are at home and have mid-week off days when everyone else is away at work.So even when they are free,there is nobody around to accompany them.Geee,it's the complete opposite of how everybody else works.How are you ever going to meet up with anybody much?But then again,I guess when it comes to off-days,most of them would be glad to catch up with their sleep rather than go out.I think.

Oh well,another thing about them...although this may not be necessarily true with Singapore sales staff.They have to be polite and smiley with everyone even if their aprents both just passed away,their house just burnt down and their bf/gf just dumped them because they discovered they were gay/lesbian all along.Ok ok,I am exagerrating.You hardly get such exciting stuff happening to you in Singapore but hey,you never know....

But then again,one can never accuse Singapore sales personnel from being too polite.In fact,they're more likely to show you a black face even if they struck the jackpot in the Singapore Sweep.But then again,I'd be rude to everyone too if I tio Singapore Sweep.But hey,you get the drift.It's not like it's smiles always when you ask sales people about things.I think our service standards is that in an international poll on service excellence,we'd probably get 179th of 180 countries surveyed (In a way,taht is still ok,because we are still ahead of Malaysia which is guaranteed 180th position).And if you get smiles from a Singapore sales staff,it's usually because you are Fiona Xie in a lowcut blouse.So the smiles usually come with drool as well.

How did a post praising sales staff descended into a tirade against them???Wow,I amaze myself with the dexterity and flexibility of my writing.But it only goes to show that for all the admirable traits that sales staff must possess,the local species still lack that important "Ooomph" (Ohhh,sexy word.Ooomph...ooomph...ooomph...) factor which makes all sales staff stand out...

PS:Wow,I wrote the first half of this post...felt myself falling sick so went to drink some cough mixture.By the time I was next conscious,it was close to 4.That's some powerful sh*t my mum bought from the doctor's pharmacy downstairs.What in the world is it???Cough mixture for cows or something???