Thursday, June 08, 2006
Malaysia Boleh
First off, please lah, the only reason why the poor poor Russians with their roubles send you to space is because you buy billion dollar aircraft from them. If not, you think they hiu you ah? Singapore also buy billion dollar aircraft but we don't go around asking others to send our people into space, we Singapore have integrity (Erm, actually we just want a different kind of space...air space)!
Just imagine, what the Russian astronauts must be thinking...
Russian space programme director: Fellow comrades, for this mission, you will be accompanied by a most esteemed colleague from Malaysia to aid you in your operations.
Russian astronaut: Sir, what is the role of this foreign comrade for this mission?
Space director: Why you fcuk care?! Their old senile ex-PM buy billion $$ aircraft from us so we do him a favour lah. As for his or her role, he/she is the official caterer. He or she bring teh tarik and roti canai to serve you.
Russian astronaut: ... ... ...ahem, might the "she" be pretty'?
Space director: Hahahahaha...if want pretty, we get China buy our aircraft and send China mei mei up liao. Go do your jobs lah or comrade Putin will castrate you personally. And don't let those Malaysians touch any instruments. Tell them: Once broken, considered sold.
Actually, if the Malaysians know their role and know their place, it'd have been alright but no, they actually wanted to send their astronaut to space in batik? Duh?! Considering their role, I think they wear this better.
Suitable attire for the Malaysian astronaut. Accessories such as wok, push cart, LPG optional.Don't you think that this attire is more suitable, considering they are merely caterers for the flight?
Of course, keeping in mind the Malaysians' idea that they should wear batik when they go up into space, I'd was thinking that if we also send astronaut into space, the average Singaporean astronaut should look like this.
Uncle Lim: Singapore's future first astronaut?
Isn't this an apt attire to represent Singapore? But...no way, you protest. Even if the outfit is spot on, Singapore won't send such an old astronaut. Are you sure? We got just about the oldest MM in the world and also the oldest living President in the world. Might as well send the world's oldest astronaut to space what. And Uncle Lim will do Singapore proud, he fries a mean char kway teow. I'm sure the Russians will appreciate a good char kway teow in space.
Alternatively, of course, they can send a local mei mei in her original "average Singapore girl wear" into space and conduct medical experiments such as the treatment of nosebleeding in space.
Singapore mei mei astronaut: Great for space medical experiments. All in all, I still gotta congratulate the Malaysians. It's nice that you set realistic targets and achieve them. At least you didn't concoct hare-brained ideas like Goal 2010. Good for you then. Here's hoping that the below picture and headline will be a regular feature in future papers.
Malaysian astronaut fails 120th attempt to tarik teh in space.
All together now...Malaysia Boleh!
