Saturday, July 24, 2004
Kids Amok!

While I was having lunch at a foodcourt near my house,I started gazing around out of boredom to see what everyone else in the shopping centre was up to.Big kaypoh I know.Aren't we all?As the foodcourt was at the highest storey and I was seated right at the railing,I got a bird's eye view of everything.And then I started two kids running all over the place,playing catch I think.So I counted in 3 minutes,how many kids I'd spotted running all over the place.What I got?8.

Now I think this is a common occurance.Kids running all over the place in department stores and in the supermarket aisles.How and why they suddenly that NTUC is a great place to play catch,I don't know.Maybe the gigantic stack of toilet rolls make good cover.Or they could dive in a freezer and pretend to be frozen pork so that the catcher cannot find them.But most of the time,they cannot find a good hiding place and you see these kids,in squeals of delight(usually along the lines of Aah aah aah aah aah)running amok down the aisles.Dodging past bewildered adult shoppers who start giving disapproving frowns or worse,the death gaze.And the mums would go running after them, usually not catching up and screaming"Ah ah ah ah ah,boy boy,you don't run,you @#$%"(notice it's never the girls who play catch?).And by they catch up with them and smack them silly.And then you get a pitiful looking kid or a bawling one.Wow man.Si Buai Pai Seh.

Now,with the added danger of those rolling shoes(you've seen them,haven't them?Those kids gliding around on their shoes,instead of walking),there is even more danger of collision.Imagine this.You are walking across the axis of the aisles,carrying a tray of eggs,when out of the corner of the eye,rollerboy comes gliding towards you on his rolling shoes on the aisle you are now passing.What do you do?You got to be a ninja...or spiderman.You do an overhead somersault and avoid the screeching kid.That doesn't save the eggs.They are smashed all over the floor and you'd probably end up in the display pyramid of dog food they piled up nearby but you avoided the kid.

Whatever happened to good old-fashioned walking?Now kids are either running or gliding.We need good disciplinarians.I suggest we employ big,ugly,spectacularly tattooed guards to patrol the aisles.If parents can't control their kids,we'd control them for you.These guards will show no mercy,they spot a kid running or gliding in NTUC,they will lift the kid up with one hand and shake him silly.They'd shout"You move,you move somemore!See what I do to you."Also removes the possibility of these kids shoplifting. I think we all want our shopping to be done in a pleasant,if not safe environment.