Friday, December 03, 2004
My Balding Head

Now that the dust has finally settled over all the hubbub created by Singapore Idol and the subsequent "It's not fair Sly got as good a deal as Taufik" comments,I'm going to put my two cents worth on certain things:

1) The music industry is about selling as many CDs or online singles to the mass market as possible.Sly's career is more mapped out because the Chinese market is several times (if not more) bigger than the Malay or English markets (for local artistes) in Singapore,if not Asia.I had said that before in a previous post.Let me ask you:How many albums does Stefanie Sun or a-Do sell and how many albums do Pug Jelly or The Observatory sell?Pug who,you ask.And how many of you actually buy albums by local English artistes?Case closed.

And when it comes to the Malay market,hiw big is Malay R&B in Singapore?Why would Malaysians choose Taufik over their own artistes,unless he's based in Malaysia?

2) I am not totally convinced about the validity of SI's voting because of its lack of transparency.That's such a prevalent problem with Singapore authorities and organisations.They only tell you what they want you to know or want you to believe.Why is Mediacorp reluctant to reveal the voting margins and differences?What's there to hide?

And did you see the SI finale TV adverts bombarding audiences for a couple of weeks prior to the event itself?NINETY percent of the TV artistes "interviewed" threw their weight behind Taufik,gushing about his talent (I don't deny that Taufik has got a lot of talent but those guys were gushing like he's Andrea Bocelli) while a toke one or two expressed mild support for Sly.We all know how heavily these adverts were rotated on the screens for after all,this is Mediacorp's cashcow.But were the adverts designed to swing votes to taufik,bearing in mind the nature of the ads (At times,I thought they were more like adverts for Taufik than SI).

And wasn't Sly supposed to have massive support behind him?How did it go pear-shaped for him?

3) This sounds slightly insidious but I think after they realised Sly could market himself whether he won or lost,Mediacorp and BMG threw their weight behind Taufik and gave him the title.He's less marketable,by adding the SI crown to his CV,they add a major crowning jewel to his resume.Exactly like what happened to Clay Aitken and Rueben Studdard.Anyone remember Rueben Studdard?

I actually got an even more insidious conspiracy theory in mind but I will not share that here...to prevent Big Brother from clamping down on me...


All these conspiracy theories swirling around my head is causing my hair to thin...nah,it has nothing to do with things in my head because I don't have much inside.My hair has been thinning for a couple of years now and I am here to talk about things related to it...wow,my lead-in is really good eh?Notice how I quietly switched topics from SI to thoughts in my head to balding...such a subtle switch without missing a beat.Hallmark of a great writer surely.Hand me a Pulitzer now.

I'd think balding is a problem that's inflicted on 90% of males (Ok,I made up this number to make myself feel good) and I am sure there's a lot of kindred souls out there who's reading this and nodding in agreement,simultaneously wiping away a tear as they think about their thinning crowning glory.Fret not,brothers and sisters,as Michael Jackson says "You are not alone.For I am here with you...".Especially if you are a sister then I am always here with you.Anyway,I do think a lot of these hair loss patterns is genetic in nature (ok,plus diet...take in loads of salt and MSG and see if you don't turn into Karl Mak 麦嘉,the 光头神探 in 最佳拍档,soon) so don't worry about it too much.

Like I said earlier,I think I've been thinning ever since I graduated.I have no idea why it only started after I left school...must be the stress of finding a job eh?I still remember when I kept long hair in university (Yeah man,I did keep long hair once,enough to tie,you know!Long hair!You heard that,fellow X-Men!Don't ever think I never had enough hair to keep it long.Although on hindsight,I have to admit I look weird with long hair...not that I don't look weird period).Anyway,it was only then that I started hearing comments (especially from Deadpool) about me losing my hair.I must say I wasn't too overly concerned at that time...lose lose lah...big deal...until my MUM too started commenting about it too.When mums start commenting on something,you know it'd be never ending because they nag and nag and nag until...

1) You do what they want you to do,or;

2) You commit suicide.

And we all know that suicide is not an option.Not only is it a sin but if you are not successful,the police can charge you for it.Either way you lose.So anyway,she was the one who nagged me to go seek some "professional" help...for instance,Yun Nam.And so I went...just to stop the nagging.

Now,let me tell you this.Do not believe Yun Nam or Beijing 101 and thei adverts.It's all a scam.Have you seen Yun Nam's advert?The ones showing some of their successful clients who underwent successful treatment and got their full head of hair back.Have you ever noticed it's always the same SIX people they feature?It's like they can't find any other people to feature in their ads...because I think they can't.These six were flukes.When the consultants saw these six clients' hair growing back,they must have went..."Oh my God,that sh*t actually works???"These successes were never to be replicated...not on me...and what about Beijing 101,they get all these celebrities who have NEVER lost a single strand of hair in their life to endorse their products,how can they expect us to believe them?You seriously expect me to believe Terence Cao was balding once???Balding where...his armpit hair ah???

I tell you,I spent a few thousand on their treatments...because the cheapest they offer costs a few thousands (so technically I am still a cheapo but hey,come on...a few k ok,no joke,you know...and don't believe in their $18 first consultation package...it's the precursor to sucking thousands away from you)...those expensive treatments can cost up to tens of thousands... and I wasn't willing to go that far.And trust me,their consutants really bug you to keep going for treatments...increasingly expensive in nature (it costs more to keep your hair than to grow them!) so it wasn't easy keeping my wallet from opening.Anyway,from the results,I don't see much improvements despite the money I've spent...sure,there are baby hairs growing but so what...I am not a baby.So well,I came to the conclusion that full heads of hairs are for the filthy rich or the naturally endowed...at Yun Nam at least.And that,there is no surefire way of gaining your thinning hair back...if you are desperate to do that.

After spending a fortune (by my standards) and seeing no results for it,I have strangely become more at home with it.It doesn't bother me as much anymore like it used to.Maybe I am resigned to it and becoming apathetic.Or maybe I am comfortable with how I look,I don't know.One thing I figure is that it doesn't really matter whether I have a full head of hair or not,it doesn't make me better looking because I still have the same mug.A full head of hair isn't going to turn me into Jude Law,you know.It doesn't mean that I don't take care in grooming my appearance.It's still basic courtesy to try to look at least presentable...but that's within limits of what you have.Don't try to be what you are not and make life difficult for yourself.For me,the solution is just to ensure that my hair is not too long by going for regular haircuts.First,it's easier to manage and secondly,it hides your lack of hair volume much better.

One thing that I take comfort in is the fact that we are all beautiful in God's eye,because we are all his children and created in his likeness.How can we be ugly when we are created in His likeness?What's important to Him is what's inside of us and if we can see that,maybe we can see that in others and ourselves too...and give less importance ( I was tempted to write pay less attention but I think that's not possible...a lot of people are visual by nature) to external beauty and take note of the beauty in each and every one of us.And maybe that'd help us to be more secure in our own looks too.

God is good.He loves you no matter how you look.If someone can do that for you,maybe you could learn to do that for yourself too,I reason.