Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Phucking Hongkie

I am furious.Furious at the fact that nobody wrote anything silly in the forum the past few days that I can make fun of.Why are there so many reasonable people writing to the excellent ST forum page these past days?Where did the nutcases go?There's so little to talk about,I have had to base the title of this post on a poor 15 year-olf Hongkie football striker who managed to score a terrific (read:terrible) hat-trick against our mighty Young Miao-miaos (since they're under-16s or something like that,they don't have enough hair (where?I am not answering) to qualify as Lions).

There are still some news that disturb me greatly...

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The Serangoon MRT station sank by 1 bloody cm.Damn.Because knowing government standards of under-reporting (or in the case of economic stats,over-reporting), the station probably sank by 100m.Serangoon residents who suddenly find the escalator journey down/up a lot longer might at least know why now.

Think about it.If it sank 1cm,how the phuck cares?As if you might suddenly notice that your foot now need to stretch 1 cm further to reach the ground.It is more likely that now if you try to stretch that 1cm more,you fall into the abyss 99.99m deep.

And all the houses having cracaks...goodness,get out of there now.HOTEL NEW WORLD AHHHH...might I get arrested for causing public disorder soon?

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Today's paper contains an article that talked about how having dull,steady and unexciting jobs can cause one to have a regular,rapid heartbeat that can lead to heart disease.Seeing the job I do,I am greatly at risk here.In fact,I'd probably die tomorrow.

But whatever it is,I am just glad that whatever heart disease I get,it's due to the job.Not due to my ayam gorengs,mushroom swisses,char kwey tiaos,french fries and barbecue stingrays.So if I ever get a heart attack,I will sue my department for giving me a dull,steady and unexciting job that caused me to develop heart disease.

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As all of you should have noticed by now (if you haven't,I don't want you reading my blog because you are unworthy),I have changed my nick to Archangel from Cyclops.I am mortally aware that Archangel is really another nick I gave to a fellow colleague but I am reclaiming it as my own and calling that fellow Cyclops instead.For good reason.

The new Cyclops blasts just about everybody who happens to be in his contempt and he also likes to give disgusted death gazes at people.For me,I never do that...ok,rarely...ok,sometimes so I am not worthy of the Cyclops name.

Instead Archanel suits me fine...because I just fly around and do nothing.

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Did you guys read today's Today?There was an article in the sports section that reported about this good-looking 15-year-old Hongkie SOB who happens to be the next big football star in HK.He shot a Nike commercial and is being hailed as one of the brightest footballing prospects the HK has produced in the past decade (think about it...how hard can that get???Ahmad Latiff will probably be nicknamed "Maradona of South China Sea" if he was born there.).

In fact,the smug little bastard singlehandedly shot down the Singapore Lion City Cup "A" Team (what a mouthful) by scoring a hat-trick while his team was 0-2 down.

Phuck!What does that say?Singapore is represented by a bunch of gu-niangs who don't know how to play football.This the future of Singapore Football?We talked about 2010 as a guideline (not as an ultimate goal ok!Only guideline hor...see how easy it is for authorities to shift the goalposts according to their liking?Happens all the time in everything),maybe 3010 is a better guide...because by then,with global warming and all,we probably be playing water-polo instead and this we stand a better chance of getting into the World Cup.

Anyway,back to that little Hong Kong banana.Who the phuck is he to get an article written about him?So what if he is the next big thing in lousy HK football?I am called "Zidane of Hougang" (that has more to do with my looks than my footwork admittedly) too so why don't Today get their butts down here to interview me?

And what's so great about HK sports anyway?What have they ever won?

So they got an Olympics Gold Medal in 1996 by Lee Lai Shan in windsurfing and a table tennis silver in 2004 but that's really nothing.You know what Singapore won?WE WON AN OLYMPICS SILVER MEDAL IN WEIGHTLIGHTING BY TAN HOWE LIANG IN 1960.And that pisses all over the two Olympic medals won by the HK athletes.

Why?

Because windsurfing and table tennis are a-gua sports.THAT'S WHY!We won a weightlifting silver.ONLY REAL MEN WIN WEIGHTLIFTING SILVERS.Those who win golds in windsurfing and table tennis (or bowling!) are a-guas,get it,you Hongkies?

Anyway,HK football is nothing.Where is this little Hongkie banana going to play football when he becomes professional?Happy Valley?You know where Fandi Ahmad played football?Roda JC ok!!!(Bloody hell,Roda JC is not a new JC in Marine Parade lah,it is a Dutch football club)And Sundram played football at FC Zurich in the hotbed of European football,Switzerland,ok?Bloody hell...Happy Valley...poooooi!!!