Tuesday, July 12, 2005
An Open Letter - Part Two

"What do I do when my love is away
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you’re on your own?)
No I get by with a little help from my friends..."

Word from the Beatles' "With A Little Help From My Friends"

Continued from Part One...

Calv:

Dearest Calv,

I guess I have been holding onto this thought for the past few months now,after you went back to Sydney,but I really do want to apologise to you.Apologise for me being an absolute arse the last two times we met.I didn't mean to be but at that time,I wasn't feeling good and I didn't want to do things that'd make me feel even worse.Which was why I refused to do certain things.I hope you understood.I knew I made you angry.And I'm sorry.

You know me.I wear my heart on my sleeve and if I didn't want to do something that'd make me feel bad,I just won't do it.Even if my friends asked me to.I can't face up to myself if I did.So I hope you'd forgive me on that count.

Besides that,I wish to thank you for the times you spent with me,counselling and encouraging me.You helped me through one of the most difficult times of my life.I was so fortunate to have you around at that time.I'd never forget that.Thank you.

I hope to see you soon again.And hopefully,I can do better than I did last time.

Yours sincerely,

XXXX

Jubilee:

Dearest Jubilee,

Boy oh boy,I can't even remember how long I've been partners with you but it can't be that long.A year maybe?I'd tell you the truth:when I was first supposed to work with you,I had my reservations.I didn't really know the way you worked.And then as time went on,hey,I found that I much more enjoyed working with you than with my previous partner,Chicken.Maybe we are alike in certain ways and that's why I find it easy and comfortable to work with you.

Anyway,you do realise that you're a bit of a 万人迷 right?I mean I haven't seen anyone who can't get along with you yet and I think that has a lot to do with your good temperament...besides when you start arguing with Rogue.You got to watch out on that.Have more patience when dealing with stuff you don't like.The world is full of shit like that.

Well,I also got to tell you something.I think you are actually suited where you are right now.There is a fit I can see...if we were doing the right thing.For me,I never fitted in really.You also have to really find out what you want...I still get a feeling you don't quite know what that is...or maybe the time is not yet.

It is great knowing you as a friend.Truly is.One of the best things I got from this job.I say that without reserve.

Yours sincerely,

XXXX

Colossus:

Dearest Colossus,

Somehow,among all my friends,I think you are one of the easiest to understand,which is a good thing.Are guys easier to understand than girls?Not so.I never quite understood Aqua-man and the way his brain works.And even Chicken to a certain extent.You?You are different from them in that respect.It makes talking to you easier than talking to them.

Like Jubilee,I also think you are suited here.I have to say one thing and that is I admire the way you think and see things.I don't think I'd ever be at the same level.I'm being honest about this.A strong thinker isn't something I encounter everyday...especially among my friends.In fact,among my other friends,I can only count Wingman (whom you don't know) as someone who thinks as well.Well...that's the reason why I outtalk all my other friends but I don't try it on you.

And yeah,I think you and Jubilee make a good couple.Are the two of you alike or different?It's a bit of both.But where you are different,the thing is you actually complement each other.That is a good thing.Finally but not least,thanks for your friendship.

Yours sincerely,

XXXX

Jean Grey:

Dearest Jean Grey,

Miss Grey,the first time when I just got in here,the impression that I got was that you were the easiest one to talk to.Am I right to say that?Or would I discredit the others?I think you are anyway.I also must say you are something like a moral compass among this group of us.Why's that?You have a definite sense of what's right and wrong.And you get irritated sometimes when we keep doing some stuff ( and then you join in?Hmmm...) but it's important to always have someone around us to tell us that sometimes our action is not exactly right.

You know,sometimes I am equally confused by you as I am amused.You are a very unique person,you know that?I don't know quite describe what I mean but when you are a bit of a enigma.Sometimes you can be ditzy,other times you can be so sharp.Sometimes you are nonsensical,other times you are so logical.And it's all within character!Hmmm...

Well,thanks for your friendship,Miss Grey.Always a pleasure talking to you...ok,usually lah...sometimes you just go on and on and on...other times,you are silent as a grave...and it's still so perfectly you.

Your sincerely,

XXXX

Josie:

Dearest Josie,

I am confused,Josie.Was there anything between us?Did we ever liked each other or did I just imagined it all?But your actions betrayed you...I was sure you liked me.So what happened,Josie,what happened?Or maybe I never really liked you in that sense before...

I wish I knew what happened between us.I do.But I guess the truth is...I never actually loved you and it was better that you're not with me.But I regret the way I handled things.I hope I didn't hurt you...breaking things off so suddenly that you never heard from me again.I feel very bad about it.I do...because you are the purest girl I've ever known.

I say to all people who say Chinese girls are cunning and conniving...please know Josie if you ever get the choice.You are a genuine character,Josie.A pure and naive girl who have suffered hurts in life.And I am sorry that I might have been one of those who hurt you.I didn't mean to.But I never understood you as well.You always held back something from me.You are like a mystery that I never solved...and never will.

I wish you the best in life,Josie.I hope that there will be a man who will be true to you and take great care of you.You deserve someone good.You do.And you probably will find someone.It's not that hard for you.

Yours sincerely,

XXXX

Prof X:

Dearest Prof X,

Good friend,please don't harp on about our first ever handshake ok?I didn't mean it lah...I don't even remember doing what you guys said I did somemore (wiping my hand).Anyway,you know,it's just great knowing you.Really it is.You are someone who can take jokes very well and because you do not take life (and yourself) too seriously,I find it really easy to get along with you...because I don't either.Hah.

You know,I kinda miss you not being around here.You suffered the brunt of the joke but you could always take things sportingly.Not everyone could.Believe me.

Can't say much more besides that you take care of yourself in the outside world,friend.Once a civil servant,always one...

Yours sincerely,

XXXX

Snow:

Dearest Snow,

Am I with you because I am in love with you or because I just could?Do I really love you?I don't know.Could I live without you?I don't know either.Is that an answer by itself?Elva tells me that I can't be happy with someone,I should leave that person.But could I?

Snow,I want to know who you really are.I don't think I know the real you and that is killing me.How can we be together like this?There are things about you which I don't like but I've learnt to live with them...yet they get on my nerves.And there are times you just make me feel a overwhelming urge to protect you.Why is this so?

I keep telling myself that I'd be better off without you.But I'm afraid of hurting you because you do need me so very much.Do I need you?I still don't know.That can't be right.

I hurt so much sometimes when I'm with you.Really hurt.And really tired.And I don't want to be.You take so much out of me that I have nothing more to give to others.I feel so drained sometimes.That can't be right.Love can't be like this.

The bottomline could be I need to check my own feelings.I don't feel we have a future so should I break things off now.Elva tells me to...for my own good.I agree...especially if there is no future.But now is not the right time.When is a right time?When it comes,I'd know.

Yours sincerely,

XXXX


The final part three will be dedicated to Elva alone.