Thursday, July 07, 2005
Why Am I Not Invited?

Am I not big enough?

Am I an ikan bilis in the blogging universe?

Do they not know who the X-Man Archangel is?

Doesn't 7,457 (and madly jumping) hits over the period of over a year mean anything?

Ok,cancel the last point.If I was an advertiser,I wouldn't spend a cent on my own blog.But hell,even considering my bloody low readership,I should get an invite to the bloggers' conference,Bloggers.SG...don't you think?The below reasons should be enough to extend an invite out to me:

1) I can blog about A*STAR and flame them without getting sued.Can you,Mr Chen Jiahao?

2) I can flame the government without getting hooded.Can you,Mr Chee Soon Juan?

But then again,consider the below reasons why I would NOT get invited:

1) I don't pose nude pictures of myself on the net because no photograhper wants to take them in the first place (except maybe Mr Steve Ch**).They'd rather go blind and never take another picture again.

2) I don't get my own Friday weekly piece in Today newspaper. Hell,it's very hard for them to print out something that contains the word "phuck" in every paragraph.

3) I don't say "phuck" enough so I don't get enough readers,unlike Xiaxue.Well,what's a man to do?Say "phuck" cannot get on Today,don't say "phuck" get no readers...subsequently cannot eventually get on Today.

4) Majority of the hits I got is because people used the search term "Jolin Tsai porn" while googling. I left about 7,000 of my hit readers disappointed.

5) I can offer no deep insights during panel discussions besides the observation that "girls are nice".

6) Hey,I wouldn't even show up in the first place.If my picture is taken,I lose my job!But more importantly because Lin Zhiling is not attending.


A pic of Lin Zhiling,my new wife...buzz off,Jerry Yen.

Sorry,I couldn't resist...

Anyway,let me indulge in sportstalk for a while.First,I can't resist talking about Merseyside girly-man Steven Gerrard and his wayang "Am I going,am I not going" dramarama over contract talks at Anfield.

As all Liverpool fans know by now,their favourite prostitute (in the words of Banshee) enacted a drama worthy of an Oscar nomination.Hell,Sean Penn should learn from him.Over the course of 72 hours,the guy went from complaining to outright stating that he wants to be leave because he felt unwanted/disrespected to rejecting a,get this,£100,000 a week contract and affirming his desire to leave...to Rick Parry (Liverpool Chief Executive) and Reds manager Rafael Benitez pleading for him to stay before wah lah,he comes running back into Anfield,saying the club means the world to him (all £100,000 per week of it) and he could never contemplate leaving (what's the drama all about then?) and he would never do that to Liverpool fans again (you wait two years and see...you just wait.)

Ah,Banshee was the one who excitedly broke the news to me,came walking here to tell me,in fact...like I give a shit.He said that when Gerrard was leaving,he told his friend that Gerrard was a whore and is easily replaceable,no man is bigger than the club.Later when Gerrard decided to stay,he retracted his statements and said that Gerrard IS bigger than the club,that he absolutely loves the club and is irreplaceable because he is the best midfielder in Europe and that is further because he is the most complete midfielder in Europe.Oh please,let me rebutt point by point.

1) To say Gerrard is bigger than the club is to betray the greats that have played at the club and the years of achievement there.The likes of Kenny Dalglish,Ian Rush,John Barnes,Alan Hansen,Kevin Keegan and Graeme Souness played at Liverpool and none even entertained the idea that they are bigger than the club so who's this 24-year-old fart called Gerrard?He won one European Cup and he's better than all these greats?Better than the club which spent money grooming him?

2) If he loves the club so much,he would afford it more respect than what he's shown.He blames everything on miscommunication but I ask you this:If you truly loved a girl,would you mind if she asked to wait for a while to think about things when you proposed to her?Hell,she was the one who asked you to marry her in the first place but you said"wait,wait,I not sure".Not sure my arse.

3) Best midfielder in Europe?Phuck off.For all Liverpool fans who thinks he's that great,please look through Opta stats (and you know what they say about stats,they "never" lie),Gerrard wasn't even the best midfielder in England,that's Lampard.The world?Yeah right.As for the most complete midfielder,look through the stats,Lampard was again better than him in almost everything.Most complete?Yeah right.And I don't even think Lampard is the most complete midfielder in Europe.I think,on his day,Pavel Nedved is the most complete.So Gerrard fans,sob off.

From a distasteful subject,I switch to a more palatable topic.Now,I rarely watch a lot of tennis on TV,besides the Grand Slams.I had the privilege of tuning into Roger Federer's straight sets demolition of Andy Roddick and after witnessing the match,I have two observations to make.

This guy is incredible and that he must be destined for greatness...injuries and form permitting.Hell,I have never seen ANYONE play tennis like that.

Mind you,I have watched the likes of Boris Becker,Stefan Edberg and Pete Sampras play before.But none truly plays like him (at least from what I've seen).Sampras,the last of the greats,played with great power and movement but bored people to tears.You just watch Federer and tell me he's not the most graceful,artistic and complete player ever witnessed on modern TV.

I can't say whether he better than Bjorn Borg,John McEnroe,Rod Laver or whoever because I have never watched them play but in my lifetime,I haven't seen like anyone like him before.

That's it,back to work...and send me an invite to Bloggers.SG NOW NOW NOW.

Also invite Lin Zhiling please.