Friday, December 01, 2006
Hike With A Heart

Howdy lads and ladies, how's everybody doing out there in the classless world of cyberspace where living costs are not an issue, the elite write like the bigoted (actually they are) and uneducated and the blogs of the everyman is prosecuted while those of the privileged are private entities for the consumption of an exclusive few? I hope you are all doing great because I am getting along famously.


Well, after a long hiatus, I've broken my silence to bring you hallowed great news from the fabled marble halls of the rulers of $ingapore. DaaMan Shanmugaratnam has announced that after the 2% GST hike, measures that the white brigade will take will ensure that the underclass will be "even better off" while the sandwich class (actually we should really be renamed the cashcow class) will have packages to help them cope with the increase. Wah seh, people, jump for joy now. There is hope for the underclassers and the sandwiches. We will be looked after! :D Today (the newspaper) has even poignantly headlined the news as "Hike with a heart". Oh yes, heartwarming indeed. Brought a tear to my eye, kid you not. :)

Let's look at the measures that had already being announced. Conservancy charges and car park charges will not be INCREASED (mind you, nothing talked about reducing it, they are simply NOT increasing it...yet) for ONE year! Hurrah! Now Batman can now divert his conservancy "savings'' towards paying for his INCREASED bus fares...for the next year at least. And yes, now Batman will have no worries parking his Rolls-Royce manufactured Batmobile at the HDB carpark downstairs for one year. No, I am not being sarcastic. I am REALLY happy. In fact, every Singaporean should be proud and happy. All of us can now park ALL our cars cheaply! Hmmm...now I do wonder why charges will only stay flat for one year. Does that mean GST will only be hiked up for one year and then be reduced for the following years to come?

Truth is though, I don't have to worry about the GST hike. Why? Because civil service pay will increase soon mah. To retain world-class talent such as moi mah. Don't you already feel hugely blessed reading my distinguished world-class blog? Our beloved Mini$ter$ also don't have to worry about their bread and butter issues anymore. Now instead of buying a cheap Porsche, they can buy a slightly more presentable Lamborghini. Now when they meet up with private sector CEOs, they can park their Lambors alongside the Lambors of these angmoh CEOs. When Daaman says that the hike is for wealth redistribution, he really meant it. Wealth is redistributed from everybody else to civil servants, especially $uper$cale ones...but it's justified, really. Think about it carefully. Can you imagine the pain these Mini$ter$ have to go through? For the sake of Public $ervice, they have to settle for buying one Lambor instead of three. Makes you wanna cry too, ain't it? So it is only right that they are amply rewarded for their $pirit of Public $ervice.

Anyway, talking about wealth redistribution, I am still quite curious what is meant when Daaman said that the poor will be "much better off" after the hike. Hmmm, you mean they don't pay GST? Don't pay income tax? Get free transport? Get free groceries? Oh, wait, they save on conservancy charges and car parking hor. But it does seem exceedingly strange to me...you tax them higher and give them back more money in return. Effectively, isn't that taking money from one's left hand and then putting it back in one's right hand...provided that along the way, a dollar or two wasn't removed from the stack of cash? How is one better off that way?

Ok ok ok...no criticisms and no civil disobedience. I am sorry, Daaman...you are Daaman of course. But isn't it funny how everyone is overjoyed and eager to praise the opaquely TANGIBLE and SPECIFIC measures and policies that the white brigade has announced? When the hike was first announced, wasn't the opposition told to shut up after they had vehemently criticised the hike? And that was because they were told that since they have not yet seen the SPECIFIC and TANGIBLE measures that the white brigade will come up with, they do not have a right to criticise. So now, either the measures and policies have gotten WAY WAY clearer or well, we are allowed to praise something we do not see, but not allowed to criticise it. How interesting.

Ok la, I end here liao. First time in over a month since I wrote and I am complaining like an opposition MP. Not good la. Hmmm, I wonder who ok-ed the headline "Hike with a heart". I hope it's not a black heart (黑心) we are dealing with here.

See you all again! :D