Friday, April 15, 2005
Does Brayden Wear Armani Diapers?

Despite my horrible mood,I think life has to go on.And what better way to go on with life then to shoot people down just for fun and laughter,peace and joy.Not that I am a mean person who likes to 建立自己的快乐在别人的痛苦上...or maybe I am?Gosh,I don't know know anymore.I have become so numb with things and people.

Anyway,yesterday I just talked about President Nathan and his impending retirement.So that fellow managed to hog one webpage with his annoucement alone.Today,lo and behold,faster than you can say "media whor" (my English is A2 so don't doubt my spelling,I just don't want to be bankrupt),he's on the frontpage of ST Interactive,blowing his own trumpet...oh,sorry,that's a blowpipe.

Well,thanks,Prez,you wouldn't even give us a chance to miss you,would you?You heard my call,didn't you?So you decided not to retire because you decided we can't do without you.Come one,Prez,nobody even takes my blog seriously...you can't be the first one to do so?!And worst of all,I don't even feel honoured that you take my blog seriously.

Back to Brayden and his branded diapers(no doubt sponsored by Bee Chin Hiang ba kua),I was handed a request to write about celebrity and their overdressed toddlers.I read through the offending article and hmmm,found that Huang Biren is a really shallow queen.Here's what the article was about,check this out.

Blah blah blah blah blah,I trust you to read the article for yourself...now after reading the article,what do you think?I have three thoughts:

1) What kind of a F#$% name is "Ix"?I think Ix Shen has a serious charge to answer for:His stupid desire to stand out has sprouted an entire generation of idiots who think Roman numerics make good names for their kids. After Ix, will we get Iii,Iv,Xvi or Xxxxviii?I have one advice for parents:Name your kid "Xviii" and send the kid to the same school as Ix.Whenever they meet up,instruct your kid to say this "I am twice the man you are,you wimp.".Inculcate into your kid the mentality that he is twice as good as Ix.Even his name says so.

2) Actually May Phua, Lin Meijiao and Hong Huifang are quite sensible parents,especially May.However,her assertion that babies wearing hand-me-downs are easier to handle proves one thing I said just now.She's an idiot.

Lin Meijiao says that she balances the affordable brands with the costly ones.I don't how affordable Giordano Kids or laura Ashley are but her logic is a little weird.She says she doesn't buy anything less than $100 but doesn't buy anything more than $200.What's her point?$100 a piece is affordable?疯婆子.An adult t-shirt at Giordano costs about $20 or less and you tell me $100 a piece of kidswear is affordable.No wonder 黄奕良 divorced her.

I have nothing to say about Hong Huifang since she gave me no ammunition to shoot.

3) Huang Biren is one seriously pretentious idiot.Which makes her slightly worse than May Phua.Look at what she had to say about and does to her kid.

Point A: Her son,Justin's wardrobe is bursting with designer wear.She shops regularly at Kids 21 or Takashimaya for his clothes.She favours brands like Burberry,DKNY Kids and Ralph Lauren Children.T-shirt costs over $100,pants over $200.

OH MY GOD!!!Does Justin ask for this (in which he should be sent to SPCA to be put down humanely) or does Biren thinks dressing Justin up in branded wear makes HER look good?What does a kid know about branded wear if not inculcated by his/her parents?How is wearing branded stuff supposed to help a kid/make him better?Do we want our kids to grow up as good people with good values or do we just want them to grow up as good-looking people with good clothes?Ok,I am sure Biren disciplines Justin well,whipping him with the elatsic in his Ralph Laurne underwear when he's naughty.

Point B: She says that designer clothes last longer.That the elastic band on his Burberry pants can be adjusted so he can still wear them when he grows.These burberry pants can apparently last him three years.

Biren,please bring your kid to see a doctor.I fear he is a certified midget who can easily star as a Hobbit without any special effects.Because obviously he is not growing.How can someone not grow taller for three years?!What do you mean by designer clothes last longer?If your kids grow,does his designer clothes grow with him?What are they?Organic clothes?

Secondly,the point about the elastic band is silly.Besides growing in build,he must also be growing in HEIGHT right?So besides adjusting the tautness around the hips,the band can also adjust the length of the pants ah?Also the pants won't get tighter around the thighs,calves and so on one ah?Don't tell me the elastic takes care of them all?Wah liao eh,where can buy I also want leh,pants with adjustable length.Like that where got just three years,can wear for life what!

Point 3: She won't pay more than $500 for anything.

That's like saying I wouldn't buy any TV set over $1 million.Is she aware that $500 is a very high amount for kidswear?Oh,she is an idiot after all.

My point is this:If Zoe is to wrap Brayden with Armani diapers,would Brayden be any better off?He'd still shit in that $100 diaper like he would in a Pampers disposable.He wouldn't know it's an Armani and wouldn't appreciate the embroidered GA logo at the front of his nappies.Maybe the smoothness of the fabric would be kinder to his arse but I doubt it.

The real irony is this,look at the labels on all these designer clothes that you buy for your kids.And tell me how many pieces have the words "Made in China","Made in Vietnam" or "Made in Pakistan" on them?And you tell me you are buying different quality when the same clothes are coming from the same Chinese factory that also manufactures Panda brand baby clothes?And that the factory can't use the same design and materials for their own line of clothes but sell it for less because they sell them as Panda products?What's the difference between Armani and Panda,besides the logo,a few hundred bucks and an inflated/misguided ego?

Silly buggers and their pursuit for material goods.I only pray that they go bankrupt.Then the Justins of this world will know that Armani isn't the only brand in the world...and Panda can also do.It's only clothes,my friends.You wear it then toss it.Why pay more?