Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Pollutants On Screen

There are some people whom you just wish that you never have to see on TV.Everyone has their own favourite celebrities as well as their most hated personalities list and I'm not exempted from such a practice...so after having endured years/months of watching certain people pollute my TV screen,I finally feel compelled to lambast them and pray that,God willing,these people do not ever appear on the telly again.

But knowing God,He wouldn't answer these malicious prayers so well,I got to write down my request to these people...

PLEASE KEEP THE PHUCK OFF TELEVISION,YOU PIECES OF CRAP!!!!!

But one man's elixir is another's poison.One man's freedom fighter is another's terrorist.Jubilee hates Fiona Xie and I...don't like her much either.But I'd think she has great breasts and is a good bonk so I put up with her.Anyway,this is my top 5 list of TV terrorists:

1. Singapore Idol Finalists



Someone's retarded kid

Just take a look at that stupid face and tell me he's one of the biggest "stars" in Singapore.How did that happen?

And what kind of a crap song is “祥龙十八掌”?I think I wanna give him the "Balek Kampong Whirlpool Kick".

Sly looks seriously retarded...and I know I'm being nasty to the mentally-challenged here.And the way he acts cute is grating.He always does this stupid knowing wink like he's just bedded your mother or something and also gives this lop-sided grin like he just had a high after sniffing heroin.So why are girls so crazy for him?Or maybe they are just paid full-time fans by the new Evil Corporation,Mediacorp (Now that NKF has been brought down).

But I'm directing this whole tirade not just at him but the entire troupe of quasi-celebrities Evilcorp so likes to call..."THE SINGAPORE IDOL FINALISTS!!!".

I am so sick of this bunch of useless people.Why can't they get a real job or something and stop polluting my screen.I've had to put up with countless trailers of the upcoming "Shooting Stars" (Yes,please shoot them...) and it's getting unbearable.And the trailers are getting more and more stupid as well.First they showed the five of them standing in some sandfly-infested lallang field pretending like they are enjoying themselves when they are getting bitten to death...then they got Taufik Batisah (notice...it's Sylvester,Olinda,Daphne or whatever for the rest but TAUFIK BATISAH for him...why do they need to spell out his FULL name???) to do stupid stupid stuff (like moonwalking and interrupting chess games) while delivering a pizza.

Why can't the phucker just do his job and deliver a pizza straight to the consumer?He's got an attitude problem or something?

And then the current Sylvester segment has the idiot sitting at the steps outside some kopitiam (probably at Jalan Besar or Geylang where he just finished patronising a streetwalker) strumming a guitar.Some chio bu then walks past him and gives him a knowing appreciative glance.Sylvester becomes mesmerised.

Why,you idiot?She's probably just another streetwalker anyway.And besides,the real issue is,why would anyone sit at the steps of a kopitiam under the blazing sun strumming a guitar?

Unless he just escaped from Woodbridge,that is...

2) 5566


Taiwan's most popular...God save that island.

They are nasty, absolute fakers,not very good-looking,conceited and thinks they are the best thing from Taiwan since...erm,Lin Chiling.In fact,they are not talented and well, just plain sickening.I have absolutely no idea why some people adore them.Can anyone explain to me why?

I think it must speak volumes about the decline of the Chinese music industry when five wankers form a band and girls go gaga over them.And they do crap variety shows and these girls go even crazier.Do they have any brains?Or do they worship anything that music company marketing departments throw at them?

I wonder...

3) The Charmed Ones


Three lovely...pairs.

Oh,they look nice and to be honest,I want to embrace,cuddle and...ok,let's not go there.But why the living hell on earth are they are TV?They may be the "Charmed" ones but they sure ain't the "Charming" ones.

I aboslutely see no point in a TV series that doesn't have anything resembling a storyline.Every episode will just jump from one thing to another.Someone dies...ah,cliffhanger...but ahhh,that person doesn't actually dies...what the phuck?Are the scriptwriters actually getting paid for writing stuff like this?

Anyway,Charmed is nothing but an excuse to show boobs,boobs and more boobs on TV.Nothing more,nothing less.So do away with that "witch" plots and just get on with the "three girls in bikinis" storyline.It'd attract more viewers and is much more truthful about the show's true nature.

4) Tay Ping Hui


What's he so smug about?

In army terms,he's what we call "CB Face".I bet he must be REAL popular...

5) President


No comments!

God,TVMobile and President Nathan.They all have something in common.

What is it?

It's everywhere...everyday.


PS:I wanted to list out a Top 10 but couldn't think of more people.Cyndi Wong,Terence Cao would be too easy targets...so I stopped at five.