Sunday, March 06, 2005
Singletons Of The World Take Heart

This is a strange time for me...a strange year.The year when I feel that yeah, I'd really like someone by my side.It really started this past week when one event after another became a first.

On Wednesday night,my cousin Hill (I am using her real name here because I figure nobody will figure out who she is anyway), suddenly messaged me about my sprained ankle. For the uniniated (which most of you are),I sprained my ankle while travelling around Taiwan a few weeks back.It is 90% ok now...90% because it is still stiff when I try to straighten my foot.Anyway,that is not the point.The messaging between us progressed to her asking about my lovelife (or lack of it)...hah.

It is a strange occurance.Strange because despite knowing her for my entire life,she never asked me about this until now.Why now?I have no idea.It's probably just a matter of co-incidence. That is,it co-incided with my sudden decision to go for my first ever speed dating session with SDU at Ya Kun.The messaging had nothing to do with the decision though,because I had signed up for the event before she messaged me...in fact, just exactly before she messaged.

And of course, the timing also co-incided with Bishop getting hitched recently.Ok,semi-hitched since things are still in a stage of limbo.Dating and unofficially a couple but still a couple nonetheless...whatever that means.I wonder if they are even holding hands.But the point is: My good pal...the mechanical,uptight but devout and honest (these were adjectives spewed by his gf regarding him.Out of the 4,2 are bad...you can't win all the time I suppose) Bishop has finally got a gf...and I don't?!I feel so ashamed....kekekeke...

Now let me go talk about the speed dating session.It was held on Friday night at Ya Kun Robinson Point.I am still undecided whether to talk in specifics or in general.Specifics as in the individuals whom I met.I am also tempted to use real names here but do any of them read my blog?Would I expose my identity?But if they did,the fact that I mentioned speed dating at Robinson Point Ya Kun would have more or less exposed my identity,right?So there shouldn't be any bother over revealing names right?Another bother I have is that I do not have nice things to say about everyone...

Let's start with the general though.I thought the general format of the event was badly organised.It didn't afford everyone a chance to speak with everybody.I certainly didn't talk to everyone there and a lot of others probably didn't either.The orgainsation of the event was like this:They joined several tables together to form six large tables of six each.Each large table is supposed to have three guys and three girls.The unfortunate thing is,as some of you future speed-daters may find out,there seems to be usually more guys than girls.So yeah,it's not exactly one to one.My table for instance had four girls and two guys.Not a good thing because seriously how do you engage two persons...sometimes,three at one go?

Another thing.The guys at each large table were supposed to switch seats after every eight minutes to talk to a new partner.I'd have preferred it if they had strictly enforced this rule rather than leave it to our own devices.Because people don't switch.If you have a really interesting partner,that's not a problem...but if you have one you have absolutely no interest in or who puts you off, then like they say in Constantine:"Eight minutes in here (hell) can seem like a lifetime".

A few tips for people who are going:

1) Do NOT be too serious or too shy.Be Jovial and Bubbly.

You'd be much easier to talk to when that is the case.As I'm writing this,I am aware that jovial and bubbly may be more a personality trait/characteristic and cannot be changed to suit any particular event.I don't know.I am someone who can switch between talking out loud and joining actively in exchanges to being an effective mute in conversations so I think it can be done.Just a mental model shift,that's all.A serious person is a pain-in-the-arse to talk to during such events.We are speed dating here,not debating at a Parliament session,man...so take it easy,ok???

2) Do NOT go on an empty stomach

The point of conversation is talking.You do not talk and eat at the same time.And seriously,what kind of impression will you create when you are talking with your mouth full?So effectively,whatever restaurant is hosting the event 在吃钱 because they know they won't really have to serve too much food.In fact,they can serve smaller portions than usual since everyone is talking and not eating.Damn these corporate blood-suckers.Damn them all.Here we are trying to find a life partner,there they are sucking our hard-earned money dry.Anyway you get the drift right?You won't be eating too much during the event so eat beforehand...another question...if you are eating halfway and have to change seats (applies only to the guys since girls just sit and wait to be entertained by guys),are we supposed to carry our half-eaten food with us wherever we go???

3) GET a contact number!!!

Yes,there are no rules to personally exchanging contact details:Email address,handphone number,home number,home address,foreign property address,Batam gf's address (since that's where you'd be found every weekend)...whatever you want.So from the word go...exchange these details.

But my personal advice is:Get the HP number.Don't stop at merely email address (You have to wait for a reply which you may not get).Home number is also ok...but you might have to get past a burly-voiced mother who asks you what you are doing calling her 乖 daughter at 11:30 at night.In such a scenario,get that excuse ready...such as,you know,you are a 大耳窿 and the daughter owes you $2 million and that in order to repay her debts,she has to marry you.So in the end,you get the girl,don't have to pay dowry and have steady repayment income from your in-laws for the rest of your life.How's that?Better than striking Big Sweep, I say.That's only $1 million only mah...small change.

With a HP number,you can bombard the person you're interested in day and night...until you get arrested for stalking,that is...

4) Keep an open mind and not be afraid of rejection

Very important.Remember one thing.Rejection should not be an issue here,the main objective is to meet more people.Whether or not they like you is out of your hands.Just be yourself and be cool.If they like you,they like you.If they don't like you,buzz off.What's to fear about rejection from A BUNCH OF STRANGERS anyway???!!!If they rejected you,you'd probably never see them again for the rest of your life,so why be so sad/uptight over any rejections?No point what...not as if you'd see them again,yeah?Keep an open mind about this.

Now do I wanna talk about specifics...the event itself?Ok,I think I will...but with falsified names to protect identities.

I was seated at Table A first with YC (a nerdy IT guy),Annabel (a Finance exe),Alicia (a sales Exe), MP (an IT girl) and April (a HR exe).First off,I have something to say to YC...

You ARE a damn yokel.You come to a speed dating event,you're supposed to talk.You just sit down there for f#$%???There were a couple of times when I had to step back and invite him into the conversation before he started talking...I thought I was supposed to speed date,not babysit.What the hell were you thinking when you signed up?Wanted to eat some Ya Kun bread is it???

Of this lot of girls,Annabel and Alicia were the easiest to talk to.Annabel is quite a gregarious and bubbly person,which is the type you'd just like to meet on a speed date.Alicia is also ok...talks when spoken to so not bad.During an extended period of silence,she also suddenly brought up this chimp question of "Do you think couples must have certain common qualities before they can get together?"Phuah...most of the conversation before that was on jobs and jobs and jobs and jobs.Suddenly she talk so chimp.But I appreciate it because it was different.It wasn't boring like the other standard questions everybody, including me,was asking.But it was also the first and last chimp question of the evening.

MP and April.MP is awfully quiet...hardly spoke in fact.She's a painfully shy girl whom I think that people when engaging her should be more pro-active and prompt responses rather than just give up on exasperation.I am sure she'd be an interesting person to talk to.April?So damn serious.So scary.Talks like she's a counsellor.Please lah,I not a close-to-suicide case, so don't have to be so serious and grave with me.And if I was a close-to-suicide case,I'd defnitely commit suicide after talking to her anyway.

Onto the next table,the girls are Cornflakes (a LAWYER...PHUAH!!!), Chris (a PO) and PG (I don't know what she's doing).

I spent most of my time talking to Corn,who's very engaging.I'd think that would be the personality of a typical lawyer.And thanks to YC,I had to engage Chris as well since she had no partner to talk to (after switching tables,there were only five here since only guys move).Chris is also relatively shy...but not as shy as MP.Back to Corn though...Corn's a really interesting person but just not my type...how I know?There was times when we didn't really get each other's jokes until a short while later.Not a good sign.As for PG,I never spoke a single word with her.

Onto the next table,the girls are Sol and M (both HR exes).I think M is very motherly motherly kind of figure which makes her scary.Told me to stop talking so that YC could talk.What the f#$%???For God's sake,you see me gagging the guy's mouth???He should be an adult and interject when he wants...must wait for me to allow him in meh???And M also behaves in a pretty weird way...pretends to be not desperate when subtle signs seem to suggest otherwise.Shouldn't have to pretend,I think.

Sol is an ok and ordinary girl.Neither outgoing nor shy (Do you realise shyness actually makes someone noticeable?It is true in an odd way,isn't it?)Not memorable.She can sit beside you for ten years and you won't notice that she was there at all.Part of the furniture.

Onto the next table...now this is the MOST interesting table.The girls are Sally ( an engineer...and a quite chio one at that!) and Pendulum ( a HR girl...not bad looking either,just didn't strike me as much as Sally).These two are friends by the way.I asked that about them straightaway because I saw the two of them walking in together so I thought they must know each other.I genuinely do like these two girls.They're easy-going and very easy to talk to.Light and fluffy and laughs easily.Very lovely girls.Relatively easy on the eye as well.That's why I am cursing that I only got their email addresses.

I will introduce the next table as the last since I don't want to talk about the others.This "last" table I must talk about...because it has two relatively "obnoxious" girls sitting at it.Mun (a teacher) and Rude (a doctor).Mun is still ok...although I feel that there is a fakeness about her banter (You don't see me talking about fakeness in the other girls I've talked about,right?).As for Rude...as her name implies...she's the rudest person during the entire evening.Totally uninterested and aloof...with almost a smack of arrogance.I just wanna say to her:If you're so good,how come you are still not attached???Come down from your high horse lah,you lousy NUS-educated doctor.Yours sincerely from a lousy NUS-educated business grad.

Ok,that's that for SDU.I'd now talk briefly about the Fish Leong conceert I went to last night.Let it be said that I am not a fan and I have not been converted as a result of attending the concert.That doesn't mean that she's not good or that the concert wasn't done well.Maybe her music is not to my tastes really.Fish has a very pleasant,sweet and coy girl-next-door quality about her which translates well when she banters with the audience.She sings well too but I'm just not familiar with her songs.She also has this knack of transforming any cover version she does into mid-tempo numbers...it's the way she sings really.I bet she can turn a Metallica song into a mid-tempo ballad.

She had two special guests last night.Jaycee Chan and Emil Chau.Jaycee,the first to come on,was super nervous.It is the first time he's a special guest after all.His singing...well,it's competent but still raw around the edges.A bit pitchy here and there and he tends to shout during the higher notes rather than scale through them.

Emil Chau,seasoned performer that he is,almost stole the thunder from Fish.It's obvious why. His 互动 with the audience is quite superb really and he overshadowed Fish in that department.And he also has a cache of classic songs to fall back on.I think I'd like to attend his concert if he ever holds one here again.He's impressed me.

As everyone knows,there were two proposals from a couple of boyfriends live on the show that night.It was ok really...a bit of silly fun here and there,a bit corny here and there and a little touching here and there too.As a small gimmick,it worked alright.But it's the fact that two couples got together that night that really counts...makes me wanna get married too...