Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Peace

Last night,I received a Christmas card from my ex-girlfriend.Something I didn't expect to receive and I have mixed feelings about.I had talked in past posts of how I tried to shut her out of my life and well,I did my very best to fend her out...until she sent me the card.I struggled with it the whole day before writing her a reply.A compromise on my part but it was something I had to do.The efforts she was willing to make keep my friendship,I guess I really do mean something to her.I am thankful for that.

What she wrote in the Christmas card was basically this:I am very thankful to have met you and will always treasure our friendship,no matter what happens I will always try to maintain it for as long as I live.Thanks for the care and love you showed to me.Even though you might not call me anymore and the times we talk become fewer and fewer in number,I will always strive to send you greeting cards on important occasions and will always think about you.I am sure you will treasure our friendship as much as I do.I wish and pray for you and hope that you'd have all the good things in life...

It's true I didn't really wnat to talk to her again...she read me like a book on that instance.It might not be exactly true that I treasure our friendship as much as she did.I used to but no longer.I am only being honest here.I wanted to forget her and move on.

I wrote back basically reciprocating her gesture of friendship.But I stopped short of saying that I will actively maintain contact with her...what I said instead was if she wanted or needed to talk to me,she knew what number to call.My words and actions do not match.I feel like a hypocrite.I am a hypocrite.I just don't want to hurt her.

But if I did...I am sorry,嘉文.