Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Spare Me The B.S.

I had waited a long time in order that I do NOT have to write this but since our newly elected Prez and his lackeys won't let up,I finally have to say my piece and be at peace.

I say,"Enough of this B.S. already,Roti Prata Man."

You won the "election"!Congrats!Stay happy!Go celebrate!Drink yourself silly!Flip some roti pratas if you fancy (while you at it,Prata Man, make me one with egg and onion and another with egg plus one cup of teh tarik.This is my regular order.)But stay off the news,please.Because I'd had enough of your celebrations.And your walkovers.

I recently looked through the Oxford dictionary to check up a word.The word is "democracy" and it's meaning is defined as "government by ALL the people,usually through ELECTED representatives.I'd like to pose a question:Which part of the PE involved ALL the people who got to ELECT their candidate of choice?

When I first read the news on Sunday that the other three who submitted their nomination forms were denied their COEs,my blood was actually boiling (I think I kinda looked like char siew on Sunday.) but I waited and waited to clam down.

"Don't blog about it liao lah,boy."I told myself."No point.You know Singapore is like that one.Who the ruling party wants in,they make sure that person get in."

What struck me was this,the paper spent a bit of space dissecting why the other three did not qualify for a COE but I am curious,how come we never justify why the incumbent is good enough for the job?Because he got prior experience?Geez...that's like say Microsoft is looking for a new CEO and it would be an advantage for applicants if they had been a CEO of Microsoft before.And let's see...geez,if that was a criteria,he's in for some "stiff" competition eh.Let's see who qualifies...in my mind,the closest possible candidates would be Ong Teng Cheong and Wee Kim Wee.Like I said,"stiff" competition.

Let's not regard his six years in charge.What I'd like to know is,what knowledge or experience he has that makes him particularly qualified for the job.I know he was a diplomat.So what?I thought the most important job is to guard and manage Singapore's reserves.What kind of financial or supervisory roles has he undertaken that made him qualify in the first place?I'd like to know.

Why can't the people be trusted to choose their own President?Are we not mature enough?Oh,I guess we are mature enough to gamble at casino but not yet enough to discern good political candidates from not so good ones eh?Does the statement "Let The People Choose" mean anything to anyone?I guess the government must think we'd elect a nutcase into the government if given a choice,just for the heck of it.

As for the three failed candidates,too bad...especially to Andrew Kuan.What were you thinking ,man?Don't you know the surest way to destroy yourself in Singapore is to join politics opposing the status quo?Now you got your name dragged through mud while Prata Man looks like an angel (I still remember my Primary 6 Chinese teacher telling my class this,"像就不是，不然就不会说像了.")

I also have a word for the government.Since the PEC can elect the Prez on our behalf,let them handle the GE also lah.Let them elect the government for us lah.Why go through all that voting rubbish?Just say opposition politicans not qualify for COE also loh.I can already think of reasons against:

Chee Soon Juan: Nutcase.Mentally unstable.Not even fit to do road-sweeping job.

Chiam See Tong: Look like 老奸.We don't want politicians with villain look in Parliament.We want only good looking people like Eunice Olsen.

Low Thia Kiang: Can't even speak English,how to be MP?Might as well ask my 81 year-old neighbourhood Roti Prata Man right?At least can say "Prata kosong" well.

Lim How Dong: Say "talk cock" in Parliament lah...say some more lah.Barbaric behaviour.No culture.

If want to further ensure victory,I suggest redraw election boundaries (again?).Any place touch water is Marine Parade GRC.That takes care of the entire perimeter of the island.Now we divide the centre of the nation into four wards.First,cut the remaining space in half,the West will belong to Tanjong Pagar GRC while the East is Ang Mo Kio GRC.The remaining two wards are Potong Pasir constituency (consisting Block 1 to Block 3 in Potong Pasir.The rest,Block 4 to Block XXX belongs to Marine Parade GRC) and Hougang Constituency (Again Block 1 to Block 3 is Hougang.The rest,Blocks 4 to Blocks XXX belong to AMK GRC).So in total,our government should,at worse,lose control over 6 blocks of flats.

I wanna end on this note.Our esteemed MPs should stop justifying the walkover because I am frankly tired of hearing it.The very intelligent (I think) Irene Ng said that the PE exists NOT to generate excitment every 6 years BUT to elect a suitable candidate who can watch over and guard Singapore's future.

Geeez,Irene...I really DIDN'T know that.Thank you for reminding me but you forgive me,ok?My life very lack excitment one.I only feel alive once every four to six years when elections come around...and then find that I don't have to vote because of walkover.Then I hibernate for another six years and wait for new elections.My life is empty like that.Forgive me.I didn't know elctions have such great importance.Really didn't know.

By the way,you miss Abbas too much is it?Don't seem to be in control of your mental faculties leh.

And as for the nomination day support today for our dear President.Geez,I am so glad your ENTIRE support group around the country is gathered around you.I am expecting a big crowd,all 4 million of us,in fact,cheering for you as you do 材艺表演,flipping some Pratas.

Good for you,you know how much we love you.Especially the union leaders with their "compulsory to attend" order thrown down to unquestioning union folks.The 广泛的支持 statement which newscasters are so eager to bandy around will finally be visible to us all on TV.

Well done.Another six years then.I'm counting down already.Can't wait for the next elections.Empty life mah...