Thursday, August 18, 2005
This Is My Life

I have been making progressive changes to this blog in a bid to make it better,small incremental steps that hopefully make my site more appealing to readers.For instance,I have cut out a lot of the swearing I used to do here.Indeed,it has been quite a number of posts since I last used the word "fcuk" (This being an example so it doesn't count.) so there,I am successfully remaking my site from an M18 wesbite to an NC16 one so I hope MICA will review their ban on me and allow me to be more widely accessible to the general public.

Secondly,I have changed my "comments" link from "musings" to "complaints" because I realise that half the people who leave messages here are complaining while the other half are civil servants who like to complain.So either way,you get your wish.

Thirdly,I have decided to make my blog more personal.See my fugly picture in my profile.I know,it's quite ugly but that was taken on a bad hair day,like I mentioned so I couldn't help it.I don't want to dazzle you guys too much with my beauty.But to tell you fellows the honest truth,I have been getting a lot of fanmail from girls since I put my picture up.75% of them ask me to marry them.24% ask me to be their kid's father.1% is the weird type.I re-produce a sample for you:

To Mr Archangel,

My client,the esteemed Mr Jude Law,has noticed that you have used his exclusive image on your website without his expressed permission.Hence,he is extremely displeased with your course of action and will bring a lawsuit against you if you do not remove the copyrighted image from your website.On behalf of my client,I am under legal duty to inform you that you have 14 days in which to respond and remove the image or else legal action will be taken against you.

Yours sincerely,

Mr Big Pompous Jerk

What did I do?I use my own picture and people want to sue me!I can't help it if I look like somebody else right?What Jude Law?You think I know who meh?You think I so free to go Google and type "Jude Law thumbnail" meh? Siao ding dong.

But let's not care about these blood-sucking lawyers and the things they do because this site is about me,Archangel.And if I happen to look like some Mr Law,I can't help it,ok?Don't blame me.Blame it on my good genes.I always knew that my cross heritage (namely Hakka and Cantonese...yes,Hakka and Cantonese people will produce Ang Moh looking kids like me) will bring about a Pan-Asian look that'd be the envy of a lot of people.Can't help it mah.

I'd now attempt to bring you loyal readers one step closer to my wonderful life,by describing to you a typical day in the life of the Great Archangel...

In truth,I am like every other salaried man,I wake up at 6:30 to go to work.So after I wake up,I go wash up and have a cold shower before sitting down to have my breakfast...but but but every once in a while,after I have had my shower,I will sit at my chair,still clad in bathrobe(bathrobe slightly off shoulder) and have a comtemplative moment,wondering about my life.


Me in my morning comtemplative moment

That moment never lasts too long though because soon afterwards,my good wife will be awake.All of you know who my good wife is,right?Clad in her apron,she'd bake me a cake and ask,"You want a piece of this?"


My wife in her apron offering me her morning cake

Yes,my friends,with a wife like that,how could I even bear to leave the house but leave I must because a man has to be responsible.He has to find work to support his wife and give her a comfortable living.And who wouldn't want to support that cupcake?So off I go along the streets,towards the carpark...


Me walking towards my car.

...where I parked my old but trusty Toyota and then off I go to work,blazing through traffic in my lousy Toyota.


Lousy car I know but you make do with what you have.

As I arrive at my office after 2 and a half minutes of driving from Jurong to the city (can't help it,my car is a bit fast),I reach my horrible hellhole of a rundown office.


My rundown office

I then walk through the main doors and take the lift up to the 52nd storey where I am greeted by my cheery mob of colleagues.


My colleagues looking cheery and friendly.

Ok,you must be thinking,"What the..." but it is true,my colleagues do look like this.So you know I suffer very much in that place,being the good-looking SOB that I am.You know,that's why I guess I feel very out-of-place there.By the way,you see the guy with wings and a blue face,that's Archangel...interesting how I transform from a handsome SOB to a blue-bird right?

And so I spend the rest of the morning blogging in my office (how do you think you get to read this?) before lunch comes and a close friend calls me to meet him for lunch.Since I haven't met him for some time,I agreed.One thing I have to say,I have a lot of friends and I meet different people for lunch every day,subject to my availability.

Anyway,when I reach there,my friend is already there.He stands up to greet me.


My good friend,小李,greets me.

"Hey,how are you,小李?",I greeted him.

"It's good to see you,mate!"he replies

Before long,we were catching up on good old times.Turns out that the reason why he asks me out is to ask me to go help him in his company but I declined because I have my own important things to do.

"Next time lah,brother."I told him,"I know you desperately need my help because you need capable men but I have my own things to attend to.Maybe when I'm done,I'd join you."

And yes,not even a million dollar salary tempted me to join his company.See the integrity in me?

After lunch, I then spend the rest of the day doing important work.


As I said,important work.


So I work until the end of the day comes and I go back home...to be greeted by my wife at the door,who likes to take naps and so she often looks dawdy when doing this.


My wife - Fresh out of bed and greeting me.

Well,I am incredibly tired too at this time of the day and just take a power nap on the sofa.


I know what you're thinking. Sleep never looked this good.

While my wife prepares food.The chirpy little bunny is extremely good at cooking up great cuisines.After cooking up a storm,she wakes me up and standing at the kitcehn doorway,tells me explicitly what she wants for the night...wearing it across her chest.


My Queen

To which I tell my love,"You can be my queen for life,lovely..."

So while I am having dinner,I can't help but keep thinking,I am going to make you feel so happy tonight,dearest.I even go to the toilet,take off my shirt just to check on my physique and face.


As can be seen,not very satisfied with my looks.

And then before I know it,another of my good friends calls me up on my phone.


My friend,little George,on the phone with me.

"Hey,brother,"my friend,little George says,"I have something to consult you."

"Shoot" is my reply.

Well,we talked about boring stuff like world economy and growth strategies and stuff before he thanked me profusely for my advice and hung up.

So it's back to my wife and me...geez...she has now changed to a low-cut blouse and is smiling at me sheepishly.


My wife trying to seduce me.

Wow man...seeing that,I'm like..."Mai tu liao" and erm...please make sure you have your parents around to read the next part of the story (R21 only)...





You ready?





This is a cliffhanger last episode,please wait for the next season.Thank you.